Fox Dens and Rabbit Trails: Santa Clawed
by Omnitrix 12
Summary: Sequel to Christmas in Bunnyburrow. It's Christmas again, and Nick is returning to Bunnyburrow to play Santa for a party of kids. It's chaos and improv onstage and off as cookies, coffee, kids, mix-ups, and romantic rivalry conspire to make his Christmas a real holiday to remember, and a lesson in what being Santa really takes. Cover art by unknown, but I've been told it's free.
1. One: Another Christmas in the Trenches

Suggested by BeecroftA. Proofreading by JrRangerScout. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Also, just a quick explanation for you new readers. This story, and its precedent, "Christmas in Bunnyburrow" are not part of the same storyline as "Something Stinks" and its sequels, though the characters and much about them are the same. However, these stories are some use as a testing ground for ideas which might come up in the main stories later on. In other words, anything can happen!

 **"'Tis the season to be silly..."**

 **Garfield**

"You ready?" asked Judy.

Taelia smiled ironically. "You know he's going to be all snarky about this, right?" she asked, adusting her headpiece with one paw and gesturing to herself with the other. The headpiece was made from parts of an artificial Christmas tree, and sported a battery-powered candle like the Ghost of Christmas Past (presently turned off). That assemblage topped a dress which, at a glance, made her look like a walking pine tree. Tinsel and branches printed on the fabric were emphasized with strategic ruffles and colored lace, and the flat areas of cloth displayed images of lightbulbs, tiny Santas, angels, and the like. Completing the look, she wore a pair of brown high heels, brass sleigh bell anklets, and a necklace and bracelets of battery-powered lights.

Judy snickered. She wore candy cane-striped yoga pants with cuffs ringed about in triangles of green felt, a green jacket with similar red cuffs, and a green hat with a black brass-buckled band. She looked much tamer than Taelia, but as Taelia was quick to observe, "The minute Nick sees your outfit he'll probaby ask, 'So are you headed for the toy shop with a box or without one?'"

The doe shrugged carelessly. "I know," she agreed. "I'll just step on his tail again."

"I happen to like his tail."

Judy shook her head. "Ah, the things I'll do for a roommate. Okay, I'll let it go if he makes that wisecrack. Now come on and knock."

Taelia stifled a laugh and rapped her knuckles sharply on the door.

"Coming!"

The moment the door opened, the two of them broke into song.

 _"Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree,_

 _How can one hang a star on thee?_

 _With stature more than four of me,_

 _You're three foot more than twenty-three!_

 _The star's so high it's hard to see._

 _Don't stand too close you'll get dizzy._

 _Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas tree,_

 _That was so strangely easy."_

On the final line, Taelia reached up and flicked on the candle.

Nick stood, thoroughly impassive. "Sorry, Carrots," he said in a trance-like voice. "I had a root canal earlier today and couldn't smile if my life depended on it. You lose."

Judy stomped her foot in mock anger at Nick's poker face. When he told her out on patrol the other day that he really didn't like carolers much, she'd said she didn't buy it and told him he'd smile for sure the next time some came to his door.

Taelia played it a bit more calmly. "Can't smile, hm?" she asked, turning to Judy with a knowing look.

Nick backed up and started to close the door in self-defense as Judy answered Taelia's sneaky smile with a broad and somewhat sinister grin.

"GET HIM!"

"No. No! Ladies, sto-hahahaha! No, not the ri-hih-hih-hibs! Oh, ack, I give! I give!"

Neighbors stopped what they were doing as the two women mercilessly tickled Nick. At the surrender, however, they left off and let him get back up.

"That... was cheating," Nick objected, making little effort to hide his grin. "I call win by default."

"Worth it," Judy replied without hesitation.

Taelia gave a smile which, in her usual manner, was part sheepish and part sneaky. "Would something to snack on help make up for it?" she ventured.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess. Figgy pudding?"

"Told you he'd guess that," Judy announced triumphantly.

Taelia just shrugged. "The store was out of figs," she admitted, reaching for a box where the doorway had hidden it from view, "but I _do_ have plum pudding."

It hadn't taken many rounds of Taelia's cooking to convince Nick – or Judy for that matter – to give any edible at least a nibble. "Bring it on in," he invited, opening wide the door.

* * *

In short order the three were seated around Nick's coffee table, snacking on the dessert.

"So," asked Nick, "what do you want for Christmas?"

They looked at him in confusion. "Come again?" asked Taelia.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "I know you both too well," he pointed out calmly. "I can tell when someone's trying to butter me up. What's the favor?"

Taelia blushed. "Judy wants your help," she answered. "I'm just helping her out."

Nick turned his attention to his bunny partner, who smiled confidently. "Actually, it's a relay from a fan of yours – though I'm not sure where to begin..."

Something about the way she drew out the 'I'm not sure where to begin' cued him that this was going to be a bait and switch. "Come on, out with it," he pressed with a mix of charm and impatience.

Judy drew her lips inward until a light kick of Taelia's heel against her footpaw jarred her loose. "Okay," she relented. "You remember my brother Alex, right?"

Nick thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah," he recalled, his eyes widening with recognition and then quickly narrowing into a squint. "Your co-conspirator in wreaking havoc on my stomach. _That_ Alex."

Judy winced. "I was kind of hoping you were over that."

He folded his arms. "Would you like to know how long it took my _digestion_ to get over it?"

Taelia gave him the kind of look her mother used to give her and her brother when they argued. "Come on, Nick. This isn't a trick; I happen to know that."

In answer, Nick glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "Just whose side are you on?"

She answered with a matching brow. "What is this, multiple choice?"

Nick raised his paws, then let them fall in a show of resignation. Clearly, Judy had trained Taelia all too well. "Alright, what's he need?"

Judy held her paws facing one another and waved them in a kind of circular manner as she spoke. "Well, we got a phone call earlier, see, and...

* * *

 **Flashback**

"Are you sure you don't want some help?" asked Taelia as Judy paced back and forth, examining her target with all the scrutiny of a general readying for battle. Her foe – a small Blue Spruce with roots bound up in earth and burlap – reached nearly to the ceiling, and was easily double her height.

Judy, star in paw, shook her head. "I'll get it up there if it kills me," she vowed with characteristic grit.

Taelia shook her head. Ever since she and Judy had decided to tag up as roommates – both being social creatures and penny savers by habit – their differing approaches to problems had been a source of amusement and, on occasion, consternation. The incident in question was a mix of the two. "You'll live though it," she countered. "It's the heirloom ornaments on that tree I'm worried about."

The bunny wasn't listening. With slitted eyes, she crouched, then raced past the tree, sprang into the air, and kicked off the top of the sofa. The article of furniture tilted back for an instant, then lent its catapult force to her own rebound.

"Aaaand boom! Dead-on!" she cried exuberantly as, hurtling over the tree with her back scraping the ceiling, she fitted the star smack over the top, then continued her flight into a roll on the other side.

Letting out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Taelia strode to the tree, stood on her tip-toes, and adjusted the star. She'd always considered herself free-spirited, but Judy's acrobatics made her feel like an old woman sometimes – or, at least, a mother hen. "You always have to do things the crazy way, don't you?" she asked in mock-weariness.

Judy shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby."

Taelia sighed as she regarded the tree. All arrayed in tinsel, lights, and ornaments both new and old, it was a sight to see even before plugging in. For one thing, it was the largest Christmas tree she'd had since she had moved out of her parents' den. That part was, actually, a handy benefit of splitting costs with Judy, and with a family who were going to plant a tree as part of their own tradition sometime after Christmas. All that money saved on the tree itself had left it easier to buy more ornaments, which added nicely to the ones her parents had sent with her when she moved out. With that and several Judy had bought to add her own touch, it seemed no one could have asked for a nicer trimming.

"It's just too bad we won't be around for it," the vixen added thoughtfully. The tree was, in fact, a strategic piece to discourage anyone who might try to raid the apartment. Both women had plans with their respective families for Christmas Eve.

"Well, it's fun anyway," Judy replied, adjusting a string of tinsel.

 _Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh_

"Oh, that's probably Nick calling," Judy remarked, fishing her phone out of her pocket.

 _Oh-oh-oh-oh-_

 _Beep._

"Hello?"

" _Hi Judy! It's Violet."_

"Violet?" asked Judy in surprise. She hadn't heard from her little sister in a while. "What's happening?"

Violet's voice was downcast. _"Bad news. You know the Christmas party the day after tomorrow?"_

Judy grew worried. Bunnyburrow was hosting a party for their youngsters that year, and her brother Alex had promised to play Santa Claws (rumor had it he was using the excuse to fatten up on Christmas goodies), and since it was rare for any Hopps to do things alone, others had been brought in on the operation. Violet and Jordy, in the roles of elves, would be helping with the kids. Judy had even allowed herself to be roped into playing the role of Chief Elf and helping... well, mostly with Jordy.

"Don't tell me they canceled," she said in dismay.

"No, but Alex can't go. He got hit real bad with a bug and the doc says he's got to stay in bed all week."

Judy clapped a paw to her forehead. "Oh, no. Where are they going to find a Santa on such short notice?"

Violet seemed confused that Judy would ask that. "Well, that's why I called you. You remember 'Nick'?"

A quiet breath escaped Judy's mouth as she recalled that little detail. After an impromptu performance the previous year, Violet was convinced that Nick was really the _real_ Santa Claws, and that Nick Wilde was just an alter-ego he used to see whether people were being good or bad. The idea of Santa posing as a cop had been so funny that, much as Judy knew she shouldn't, she had partly encouraged her young sister in believing it. Now, however, that was coming back to bite her... with pred teeth.

"Oh, right, Nick," she agreed. "Well, listen, he's busy this time of year, and..."

"Please?" begged Violet. "There's a lot of kids wanting to see him."

* * *

 **Present**

Nick sighed and leaned back in his chair. "That's the trouble with having a talent," he said, waxing philosophical. "Once you let people see it, they want it on demand."

"It's just one party," Taelia pointed out.

The fox shook his head slowly. "Listen, Violet was one kit, and she was sick in bed. I haven't done well with large groups of kids since _I_ was a kid."

Judy persisted. "Nick, they're not going to put a muzzle on Santa."

"I saw it happen at the mall once."

"Those were city kids," she argued.

"You mean like Jordy?"

Judy flung her paws down in despair. "Nick, he apologized for that – _and_ he's on your side this time. He'll be watching your back, not jabbing it."

Despite personal experience with just how protective Jordy could be, Nick still looked resistant.

"There's a busload of kids coming from an orphanage," Judy pressed, throwing in just a touch of the classic Big Sad Eyes. "You wouldn't want to disappoint _them,_ would you?"

Nick put a paw on his brow as if he had a headache. "Oh, come on now, Carrots. _I_ used to play the orphan card all the time. I played it on _you._ "

Taelia jerked in surprise. "You did what?"

" _I'll_ explain... later," Judy promised. She was willing to twist an arm now and then for a good cause, but not to the extent of separating friends. Besides, letting loose an angry vixen was _way_ outside her arsenal. She still needed a Santa, though, so she turned back to her partner. "Nick, I'd never lie about orphans. You know me. Taelia knows me." She turned to the vixen. "You know I'm serious about this, right?"

Nick sighed as the ladies both stared at him. "Welll..." he asked, making a show of weakening, "how long is the party?"

"Just a few hours," Judy promised. Glancing at Nick's nearly-finished dessert, she added coyly, "A few hours of all the Christmas cookies you can eat – and my mom's busting out _all_ her secret recipes."

"Hmm." Nick remembered Mrs. Hopps' Christmas cookies well; gooey, moist chocolate chip, crunchy gingerbread, sweet, cinnamony snickerdoodles, and lava cookies that fairly oozed through one's teeth with every bite. Nobody could forget them. "Hmm, her cookies are good. The gingerbread ones are pretty dry, though. Is she bringing that apple cider?"

"Yes," Judy affirmed. "And I gave her your mom's recipe for pumpkin coffee, too."

Nick licked his lips with an expression of shaking resolution, but then his eyes drifted toward Taelia. "I'm sorry, Carrots. I promised to go with Taelia to see her folks in Pine Forest."

"I'm going to the party," Taelia answered readily. "We'll have enough time to do both, and I already told them about it. They love the idea of you helping with something like this – and so does Rose, for that matter."

The mention of Rose was a hefty card to play. Taelia's whole family loved Nick, but her niece had latched onto him like a second coat of fur from the first meeting... and Rose, if she had wanted to, could have charmed the horns off of Chief Bogo himself.

Under this barrage, Nick raised his paws. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."

"Oh, thank you!" Judy exclaimed, jumping over to give him a hug. "You're the best, Nick!"

Nick returned the hug. "Could you throw in a take-out jug of that cider and a box of the cookies?"

Judy's shoulders sagged. Nick was sweet, but he was living proof that the typical mammal's stomach was bigger than their heart. "Okay, fine. One jug of my mom's cider."

Taelia's brief glimmer of jealousy at watching Judy hug Nick vanished beneath a wave of suspicious annoyance when she spotted a cocky smirk on Nick's muzzle.

"Nick Wilde," she asked in her 'Getting Annoyed Really Really Fast' voice, "did you hold out on us just to bargain for party food?!"

Nick felt Judy's arms suddenly lock around his neck; not constricting, but definitely not about to come off either. His cocky smirk turned into a nervous grin. "It's called a hustle, sweetheart?" he asked uneasily.

Judy's arms constricted.

"Gaaaccchh!"

* * *

 **So, yep. Wasn't planning on another Christmas fic as such, but once I started on this I just couldn't stop. I've actually had to rule out one or two ideas I was going to use just to keep the story coherent. Anyway, Nick's back in the Santa Suit, and headed back to see Judy's family. What can go wrong this time? (Oh, what the heck. What _can't_ go wrong?)**

 **I decided to weave a few Christmas tradition ideas into this story, just for an extra touch. The part about Taeia's parents sending ornaments with her when she left home draws on a tradition which, I believe, a friend shared on Facebook. The family would have each of their kids choose an ornament (reasonably priced, of course) each year, marking the chooser's name and the year on each ornament. When each child grew up and moved out, their decorations would be boxed up and sent with them as a housewarming gift. These, and probably some ornaments Taelia would have made as a kit and managed to keep in good condition (clothes pin reindeer and the like) would be at the heart of her decorating.**

 **I considered just having Judy and Taelia split the bill for the tree between themselves, but then I also recalled a case where a church partnered with a synagogue to buy X number of live pines. After the trees were used for Christmas by families in the church, they went to Jewish families who later used them for a spring festival which is celebrated by planting trees (and which, much as I make it a point to know about Jewish customs, I have no idea how to spell). Everyone wins. For those who are wondering (since this has come up), Taelia is on the conservative side when it comes to relationships and would not be comfortable sharing an apartment with a guy outside of marriage (kind of based on my mom there). With Judy, however, what would be an awkward arrangement with Nick becomes simply practical.**

 **I had to get creative with Zootopia's Christmas lore in this story. As those of you who've read _Christmas in Bunnyburrow_ know, I decided to have Santa be a shape-shifter in their legends. Since "Santa's helpers" didn't have the same ring to it as "elves," I went with the theory that "elf" in that world, at least as it concerned Santa's helpers, would refer to a unique and perhaps not entirely natural vriant of rabbits or hares** **. Their size and dexterity would allow them to manage minute work and details, but they would not be so small as to require mechanical aid for virtually every task in his shop. Additionally, their sheer numbers make them easy to envision running around in hoards most anywhere.**

 **Last but not least, the recipe for the cider Nick mentioned is included with the original** _ **Christmas in Bunnyburrow.**_ **So is the idea for pumpkin coffee, for which I wish to make a little clarification. Having consulted with some professional chefs, I have been advised that the best way to make natural pumpkin-flavored coffee would be...**

 **1\. Steam the shells. This is done quickest by cutting them up into small squares and putting them into whatever kind of steamer you would use for other vegetables. It should take no more than five minutes once the process is underway.**

 **2\. Cut away the "meat" (the soft inner part of the shells, often used to make pumpkin pie filling and the like), cut into small cubes, and put it in a dehydrator (available at most kitchen appliance stores, and very handy to have in general). Be sure to have the catcher tray in place, as small or especially soft pieces may slip through the grates.**

 **3\. Run the dehydrator until the cubes are completely dry (of course).**

 **4\. Store until desired. When wanted, puree some of the cubes into a powder with a food processor or blender.**

 **5\. Put some of the powder in the coffee maker with your coffee grounds, add small portions of desired spices (I recommend cinnamon and nutmeg) and run the maker as usual. Everyone has their own taste buds, of course, so you may have to experiment to get a mix of coffee, pumpkin, and spices that suits you. Have fun!**

 **And before anyone asks, I can't give you Mrs. Hopps' secret cookie recipes. She bought my silence with a batch of snickerdoodles... and she's standing behind me with a rolling pin.**

 **In terms of Easter Eggs, whose clothes do you suppose might have inspired Taelia's dress?**


	2. Two: Crash Course

Well, I'm glad to see this has taken off so well. My thanks to both of the Guest reviewers (and Beecroft, of course). Proofreading by JrRangerScout.

 **"This is it. No turning back. Another Christmas in the trenches."**

 **Kevin McAllister, _Home Alone 2_**

"Is it just me," asked Nick, "or is having me stare at your phone the whole way to Bunnyburrow turning into a travel tradition?"

At the present moment, they were driving a borrowed car through Bunnyburrow's streets. Or, rather, Judy was driving. Nick, as indicated by his mild complaint, was staring at Judy's phone; one which, this time, had been turned into a library of information Alex had sent about Do's and Don'ts of being a Santa. Apparently there were actual _classes_ on the stuff. Taelia, meanwhile, was admiring the scenery of the farming suburb's elaborate and diverse decorations, not only for Christmas but also here and there for Chanukkah.

"I never took you for the tourist type," Judy playfully remarked as Taelia snapped a photo for the umpteenth time.

"I'm not," countered the vixen. "But Ellen is, and I know if she finds out I saw this and didn't send her some shots she'll never let it go. Besides, we've been meaning to do a song about the sights of Christmas. This is good material." Her defense concluded, she paused thoughtfully. "Although I do have to admit, I've never seen decorating like this before."

"Don't they decorate in Pine Forest?" asked Nick distractedly.

"Well, they decorate the trees and the walkways," Taelia admitted, "but they don't have such big yards to work with there. It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on." Looking at a particularly elaborate yard, she said softly, "There's magic everywhere."

Nick would have liked to admire the view, but he had seen it before and he had homework to do. "Do not eat onions before going on," he muttered. "Well, finally an easy one." He was allergic to onions.

"Oh my goodness," Taelia gaped as they passed the sign for Judy's parents' farm. Where a massive snow castle had stood the year before, now they could see a tall mound of snow with sledding hills down the sides. Here and there were tunnels going into the hill, each shielded by an entrance something like that of an igloo and shaped to steer any descending sled off to one side or the other. The result of this was sled after sled of bunnies going down in thoroughly unpredictable courses. It was like one of those carnival games where a dropped tennis ball bounces off a grid-work of pegs to an assortment of boxes at the bottom. If there had not been an elder sibling at the top enforcing a 'one-at-a-time' rule, there was no telling how many wrecks would ensue from collisions.

Taelia's wonder only grew when they came alongside the very center of the mound, and a wide passage clear through at the bottom showed that the whole mound was not, as she had first thought, a natural hill, but was constructed entirely on purpose and entirely out of snow straight through!

"How on earth did they make that?" she asked.

"It helps to have over two hundred bunnies helping out," Judy replied cheerfully, "especially when one of them's a whiz at architecture."

"You should have been here the year they did the Great Pawramid," added Nick, recalling the previous such trip when Alex had boasted of such a feat.

Taelia was duly impressed. "I'm surprised your parents can get them all to cooperate," she said. "I need to pick their brains if I ever have kids."

Judy considered a teasing question about whether the vixen had been making plans; a sure way to bring out the 'red' in both foxes. She stifled the jibe, however. She'd gotten to know Taelia pretty well, and there were some things one just didn't joke about when she was involved. So she simply took the comment face-on instead.

"Well, they manage to get work done well enough," she allowed, "and once in a while with recreation. But if you think my family's orderly, you have _no_ idea."

* * *

Inside the Hopps house, things were considerably different than they had been the last time Nick passed through that door for Christmas festivities. Bunnies were running to and fro to beat the band, but all partying was still in the prep stage. Some carried fire wood while others carried packages (wrapped and unwrapped), rolls of gift wrap, stockings, and so on. In the living room, several boxes were being sorted by groups in what – if the visitors had had time to take note – was the Hopps family's system for making sure nobody ended up knowingly wrapping or even seeing their own gifts.

"This way," said Judy, catching Nick by the paw and wading through the crowd. "Sick rooms are this way."

"What should I do?" called Taelia as the crowd soon divided them.

Judy only paused a moment. "Uh, see if you can find my mom!" she called. "She gets distracted this time of year, so remind her I sent you. She'll find you somewhere comfortable to wait out the chaos."

Taelia looked around a little helplessly at the sea of moving rabbits, trying to remember the times when she had happened to be present during Judy's video chats. Usually she let Judy alone for family talks – a brief 'Hi' and a wave was generally about it, and only when Judy turned the phone her way for that purpose – but she thought she would recognize Mrs. Hopps.

She'd forgotten that most of the rabbits there had a fifty percent overlap with Bonnie's DNA.

 _Maybe she'll be bigger than the others,_ she thought with the same kind of bleak hope a sailor wrecked at sea might think, 'Maybe someone will come by.'

Unfortunately, a good many of Judy's siblings were fully grown by then, and a lot of the does looked a lot like their mother.

"Excuse me," she said, tapping a passing doe on the shoulder. In passing the doe looked a lot like Mrs. Hopps, but as soon as that face turned toward her Taelia saw her mistake. This doe was about the same height, but thinner; somewhere between Judy's build and that of her mother.

The vixen managed to recover her fumble. "Can you tell me where to find Bonn... uh, Mrs. Hopps?"

The rabbit looked up at her for a moment. "Uh, who wants to know?" she asked.

Taelia briefly explained her connection to Judy and what she was doing there at the moment. "I'd be glad to help if I can," she offered, looking around. "I mean, since everything is so busy around here..."

"Oh, no problem," the doe assured her. "You wait here. I'll go get Mom."

It was Taelia's great misfortune, out of all the rabbits in that household, to have picked Marcie.

The same Marcie who had five nearly identical-looking sisters.

The same sisters who had gone through growth spurts that past year... and were now quite nearly adult-sized.

Marcie knew she really shouldn't text her sisters about this unwary new victim, and that they really, _really_ shouldn't throw on some makeup and borrow their mom's clothes.

Then again, who said all _six_ of them had to be in on it?

* * *

Nick's face and stature drew the recognition of all in sight, and several greeted him in memory of his visit the year before. He could have easily gotten lost in answering all the 'hi's and 'how-are-you's if Judy hadn't kept a steady course towards the part of the house which acted as a kind of infirmary for those who didn't need to go to the doctor's.

Then again, Judy had to contend with her share of hellos too.

"Judy!" cried a brown doe, latching onto her forearm.

"Donna!" Judy exclaimed, though it was lost in Donna's exuberance.

"Judy, perfect timing. Can you get a shot of me and Justin?" Justin was Judy's brother. "We have to get this. Look!" She held up her paw, on which one of the digits sported what could only be an engagement ring.

"Oh." Judy was, admittedly, impatient to get on with hererrand, but engagements were never to be shrugged off in the Hopps family. So, with only a little reluctance, she let her future sister-in-law convince her to take a picture of her and her brother – under some mistletoe, naturally.

Nick shook his head in amusement as, that errand attended and the couple duly congratulated, they continued on their way. "The Kiss Cam that Killed Christmas," he teased. "Are all rabbits hopeless romantics, or is it just your fam-"

Judy stopped him with a punch to the elbow. "Shush," she scolded playfully, rounding a corner. "Being asked to take the engagement photo in this family is like being asked to be Maid of Honor." Then, deciding to turn the banter around, she added, "Speaking of Kiss Cams, how's it going with Taelia?"

A pink flush crept up the fox's neck and face, only partially hidden by his fur. "Nothing for the camera so far," he answered dodgily.

The brief pause which started with pondering her next move turned into a meditative consideration on Judy's part. She knew the trends and guidelines which governed relationships tended to vary from species to species. Even within species they varied; her parents, for example, were on the restrictive side as rabbits went, especially when it came to their daughters dating. Yet she had met some mammals who would have considered her parents much too lenient.

"Did her dad threaten you?" she asked, half-teasing.

"'Did her dad threaten me?'" he rejoined sarcastically. "Did _you_ get that off a T-shirt? And no, he didn't."

As a matter of fact, Judy _had_ gotten the idea from a T-shirt, but that wasn't the point. "Oh, then is 'The Foxy with the Moxy' getting cold feet?"

A sigh, precipitated by a tongue click, escaped Nick's mouth. "Tuh. I knew I'd be sorry letting you see my username. My feet are just fine, but since the gloves are off, when's the last time _you_ had a date?"

"High school, I think," said a voice _very_ unlike Judy's.

Nick jumped a little. He'd been so preoccupied dodging Judy's pestering questions about his love life that he hadn't really noticed their whereabouts or what Judy was doing between verbal pokes. In their conversation, she had led him to the infirmary and into the room where her brother was lying in bed.

Having seen much worse sights than a rabbit with the flu, Nick took Alex's state in stride. The buck looked anemic and glassy-eyed, and his build was a bit bulkier and more Santa-like than when the fox had seen him last, but other than that he looked much the same as the year before.

"C'mon in," Alex invited, waving to a couple of chairs a distance from his bed. "Wouldn't get to close if I wu... gah, hang on," he said, his speech suddenly becoming labored. He picked up a pawkerchief, coughed into it, and then spat into a nearby waste basket. "'Scuse my manners," he offered weakly, his voice not quite masking a groan. "It's this mucus."

"'Salright," Nick replied. "I'd do the same thing, I guess. Never actually had the flu, though," he finished more quietly. Fortunately, both he and Judy had been vaccinated courtesy of the department.

"Count your blessings. Alright, Judy, you stand in for a kid. Nick, pick her up and put her on your knee."

Nick looked at Judy. She looked at him. Neither of them had been exactly prepared for this turn of events.

"You're kidding me, right?" asked Nick.

Alex groaned, not sure if his burgeoning headache was sinuses or his impromptu student. "We only have a couple of hours to get you ready, alright? Now pick her up. Put your paws – yeah, good. Keep them where I can see them."

"Is this part of the training, or are you talking as my brother?" asked Judy.

"I'm playing a Santa's worst nightmare: an overprotective parent with a camera."

Somehow, that really didn't do much for Nick's confidence. However, very gingerly, he placed Judy on one of his thighs with her body at an angle.

"Alright, try to have her a little further back," Alex advised. "No, don't help him, sis. He's got to get ready for uncooperative kids. Okay, good enough. Now have one paw up to support her back – no, where I can see it."

Nick tried not to groan. "My paw's on her _back._ How can you _see_ it if it's on her _back?_ "

* * *

While Alex continued to harangue Nick and Judy, Marcie had managed to rope Taelia into wrapping gifts. Taelia had hoped that her quick-swipe technique for cutting paper would win her some points, but it seemed those home-honed claws unsettled 'Bonnie.'

"Do you, um, always keep your claws so sharp?" asked Marcie in her disguise.

"Well, they're not that sharp," Taelia admitted, though she did make it a rule to keep them in good condition and had manicured them just before leaving the city. "I just know how to use them."

"Oh." Marcie made a show of digesting this information – or, perhaps, in-digesting. "You have a lot of experience using your claws?"

Taelia was beginning to sense that this was not going as she'd hoped. _I thought Judy said her parents were fine with foxes,_ she thought, more confused than offended. She was also aware of odd glances from the other rabbits in the room when they thought she wasn't looking. She never guessed that they were viewing her not as a hazard, but as another victim of their sister's notorious pranks. "Well, on paper. I usually cut leftover sheets up and use them as scrap paper; that's all."

Marcie acted as if she wasn't quite buying it, but decided to move on to other subjects. "So your Judy's roommate now?"

"Yeah. She didn't like where she was living, and I had room, so we're splitting rent."

"Fifty-fifty, I assume. You know, smaller mammals pay more in taxes."

 _She doesn't think I'd rip Judy off, does she?_ thought the vixen. "I did know that, actually. I offered to cover fifty-five percent, but she insisted on paying an even half. Apparently that was still less than what she was paying for her old room." As an afterthought, she added, "We each buy our own groceries for the most part too, although I budget more for food."

"Well, if she insisted," said Marcie with a shrug, pondering her next move. Seeing that financial equity was a strong point with Taelia, she decided to go for a more direct weak spot. "I was wondering because there was this one fox who used to be _so_ much trouble with her in school. Took her lunch money, clawed and bit.. you know. Not that we have anything against foxes, mind you," she added quickly, putting up her paws. "It's just that I told Judy to stay away from him, but she kept trying to set him straight and most every time he sent her sprawling."

Since the matter of Gideon Grey had never come up in her conversations with Judy, Taelia just accepted this news with nary a question, but with unease to spare.

"Well, she gets along well enough with me, and vice-versa," she insisted. "And Nick. I know he was here last Christmas, and-"

At that moment, a large buck of rather round build came into the room. "Have any of you kids seen your mother?"

Taelia was a bit relieved to recognize Stu from Judy's photos. "Bonnie's over here," she called, pointing down at her interrogator with an upraised paw.

Stu turned toward her. "Oh, you must be Taeli- wait, where's Bonnie?"

Looking down, Taelia was surprised to find the doe suddenly gone. "Huh? She was just-"

At that instant, there was a yell from another doorway as the object of their search tripped and fell over someone's conveniently extended foot.

"Marcie!" cried Stu when he got a clear look. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be helping with the Christmas trees."

Taelia stared at Stu like he had grown a third ear. "Marcie?" she echoed. "I could have sworn that was-"

"Marcie was pretending to be Mom!" someone called, disguising their voice to avoid becoming her next victim.

"What?" asked Taelia and Stu at the same instant.

It took a minute or two – mostly delayed by people talking over each other – for the matter to be sorted out. Once it was, Stu was not a happy camper.

"Marcie Allison Hopps, you get right to the kitchen."

Marcie sagged. "Yes, Dad. Three hours?"

"Four," he corrected. "This is your sixth stunt this month, and you know better than to make a visitor work. One more time and you'll me grounded until Three Minks' Day."

"What?" she cried in protest. "Dad, I have a date for New Years' Eve!"

He folded his arms. "Well then I'm sure you'll be on your best behavior in the kitchen."

Marcie sullenly set off in a stiff-legged walk.

"Extra half-hour for goose-stepping!" someone called after her.

Stu pointed at the offender. "You're right, but that's my job." Then he turned to Taelia, offering a helpless shrug by way of an apology. "Sorry. It's a total madhouse here the whole week before Christmas, and Marcie is the worst of the bunch."

Taelia smiled sympathetically. She and her brother had generally behaved themselves well growing up, but her niece, Rose, could be a handful at times. "I think you've made it farther than I could. Um..." she paused, realizing that she still had the present to deal with. "Where do I put this?"

Stu took the package and hustled over to a table. "Right here – and you can stop now. We don't make guests work here this time of year; not when they're just here for a couple of hours."

"Um, actually the plan was that Nick and I would be here tonight and catch the morning train." Judy had mentioned that her dad forgot details like that sometimes. "And really, I don't mind. I'd rather make myself useful than just stand around."

Stu brightened at that. "Well in that case, the more the merrier. Come on; as soon as I find Bonnie maybe you can help out in the repair shop.

"Did you try the PA system?" asked someone. "I fixed it this morning."

The patriarch's patience promptly poofed. "Well, that would have been nice to know before I spent half an hour looking," he complained.

"I announced it to the whole house," said the same. "When I tested to see if it worked, remember?"

Stu sighed. "I'm getting too old for this," he uttered, strolling over to a large microphone mounted on the wall. Pushing a button beside it, he announced, "Bonnie, this is Stu. Can you meet me in the workshop? Oh, and.. never mind. I'll tell you in the shop."

As Taelia followed Stu out of the room, she asked about the sudden hesitation at the end.

"Oh, I was going to tell her that you were here with Judy and Nick, but then I thought of the rest of the Sisters Six."

Taelia blinked in confusion. "Sisters Six?" she echoed.

* * *

"No, no," groaned Alex. "Deep laugh. _Deep_ laugh. From down in your diaphragm." He gestured to the place on his belly with his own paws. "Like thi- oh, right. Judy, could you?"

Judy took a deep breath and let off a "Ho ho ho" like she was doing an impression of Raymond – and, to Nick's surprise, not such a bad one either.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" he asked in wonder.

She shrugged. "Call it a family trait. At mealtimes in this house, you _have_ to know how to project."

After a few more repetitions, Nick started to get a handle on putting the 'belly' in 'belly laugh.'

"Well, you don't sound like my current laughs," Alex allowed at length. "Okay, let's go over some of the Q&A."

Nick was familiar with some of that. One thing he had picked up from the notes on the way over was that a good Santa needed to have ready answers to the various questions kids would ask – and they had to be consistent with those of other Santas. It would be a bad idea for the kids to hear from him that his favorite food was macaroni and cheese if the Santa at the mall had previously said tuna casserole.

"Judy, could you do the questions?" asked Alex weakly. "My throat's getting tired."

Judy looked up at Nick, pondering which question to pose him. "Okay Santa, favorite cookie?"

"Gingerbread."

"Favorite drink?"

"Root beer."

"How do you get into houses without chimneys?"

Nick leaned over and shielded the side of his muzzle with an out-turned paw. "Can you keep a secret?" he whispered.

Judy nodded.

He lowered his voice to a level barely audible even to rabbit ears. "I have a magic key that lets me in anywhere."

"Nice acting," put in Alex.

At that moment, however, Alex's watch beeped. He looked at it and groaned. "Oh, shoot. Not _now."_

Nick frowned quizzically. "Not now what?" he asked.

"It's almost party time," said Judy, checking her own time piece. "But I think we'll be alright."

There was a loud smack as Alex's paw met his forehead. " _Never_ say that," he objected, his words straining his swollen throat. "You did alright on a few questions, but there's _dozens_ you need to know."

Nick frowned anxiously. "Got a list?" he asked. "I can go over them in the car, and-"

"The ride's too short," said Alex. Then with a shrug and a sigh, he added, "But I guess it'll have to work. Judy, my class notes are in my room on the dresser."

"Got it," said Judy, pulling out her phone. "Nick, you find Taelia. I'll make sure Violet and Jordy know to meet us." Then she blanched. "Wait, Violet's going to be in the car and see you going over the notes!"

"Improvise," rasped Alex. "Let's go. Let's go. We're on the clock."

The two dashed out with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, and Alex sank back in his pillows.

"Heaven help them both," he groaned. Then his conscience prodded him. "Hm. Maybe I should have told them... ah, nothing to do about it now."

* * *

"So," Bonnie finished, adjusting a few faults on a small ornament, "that's how we manage to keep things running smoothly."

"Hm," Taelia murmured approvingly. "I'll definitely have to remember that."

At the present moment, they were in the shop of which Stu had spoken, surrounded by older members of the family busily fixing odds and ends and occasionally making new ones from scratch amid the banging and whirring of tools and machines. Taelia had been amazed at just how many different things they worked on, and at the obvious experience of many of them, but Stu had explained that if they bought something new every time something old broke, they'd be bankrupt. 'Pinch those pennies till they scream,' he had said.

Taelia drew her paws away, making sure the tower was duly attached before she handed it off to a young doe who began to artfully smear spackle into the remaining cracks. "So how do you break the news to them that Santa's not real?" she inqured. Her own parents had always been open about her and her brother about where their gifts really came from, where the Santa legends came from, and so on. It had, perhaps, been a less magical childhood, but realistic enough for a family not so well-to-do as the Hopps warren.

"Well, it's funny you put it that way," Bonnie explained. "You see, once the kids get to be about ten, we-"

At that moment, the purse parked beside the vixen's seat began to pour out lyrics about wandering aimlessly down a path.

"Oh, that's Judy," she said, snatching up the bag. She began to dig through it, pulling items out and putting them on the table. "Where did I put that- oh, there it is." Triumphantly, her paw emerged grasping her phone and hit the 'Accept' button. "Hello?"

"Party time," chimed Judy's voice. "You ready?"

"Just a minute," Taelia replied. She hastily bustled to throw everything back into her purse. "Front door? Okay, see you there. Let's see, where were those things I had for Nick's... ah, there we go." She grabbed the desired items off the table, tossed them in, and waved to the rabbits. "Sorry, Bonnie!" she called. "Maybe you can tell me tonight. Gotta go. Bye, Stu!"

"Bye!" called Stu, waving along with his wife.

"Taelia!" Bonnie added hastily, waving one paw and pointing with another. "The front door is-!"

"I'll get it," volunteered a doe.

"No, not you, Justine," scolded Bonnie, detaining another member of the Sisters Six. "Alexa, show Taelia the way, please."

A different doe hopped up. "Got it."

"Darn it," muttered Justine, folding her arms.

 **I read a while back about some of the difficulties people portraying Santa face – all the way from misconduct accusations to kids throwing up on them (yeah, it happens) – so I wanted to catch some of that in this chapter. Classes like the one Jordy took do apparently exist, and while stores have their own individual rules, there are also some fairly standard guidelines which carry across the board, such as not eating smelly foods like garlic before going 'on stage' and wording things to be sensitive to kids in tough situations ("How are your parents doing" is a** _ **really**_ **bad question to ask if, say, the parents recently died and the kid is being raised by an uncle or aunt). And of course there are the inevitable beard-pullers. Let's face it; being a Santa isn't all milk and cookies.**

 **You might also have noticed some mention of Chanukkah (also called "Hanukkah"; the Hebrew 'H' is pronounced more like an English 'Ch'). The story will still be a Christmas story, since the only religious demographics hinted at in Zootopia were in that direction. However, since Ginnifer Goodwyn - voice actress for Judy - is Jewish, I thought it was the least I could do. I'd really like to see a good Zootopia Chanukkah fic, but am not in a position to write one.**

 **Also, the detail about onions is a slight reach. I do not know if it holds true for foxes, but I have been told that onions can be harmful to dogs, so I added them as an allergy of Nick's. Granted I hint at him eating chocolate elsewhere, but I dare say they'd have some way around that in Zootopia – and if not, I'll make an exception for chocolate.**

 **Easter Eggs:**

 **Calvin and Hobbes**

 **Sword Art Online**


	3. Three: And Now we Have Problems

" **Oh dear. What an awkward situation."**

 **Maleficent, _Sleeping Beauty_**

"So is she Mrs. Claws?" asked Violet, gesturing to Taelia as Judy drove them to the party.

Taelia nodded, trying not to blush. On the way over, she had let Judy talk her into playing the part in order to justify her association with Nick at the party. Yet there was a part of her, which some might have called excessive honesty, which made it hard for her to step into the role of someone else, let alone a married woman. All the same, pretending to be Nick's wife at least made it a guilty pleasure, so she managed a smile.

Judy smiled too as she rounded a bend, enjoying the humor in the situation all the more as a respite from the challenge ahead. Violet, meanwhile, was gazing up in awe at the vixen who had been stationed between her and her brother.

"I still don't see why we had to be separated," complained Jordy. "I haven't done anything bad since August."

"That's what scares Mom and Dad the most," cracked Judy. Normally this might have been mere sibling banter. On this occasion it was also an effort to maintain a feeling of just going off to a party.

Violet, meaningfully or not, quickly jostled the illusion. "But he wouldn't misbehave right in the car with Santa, would he?" she asked innocently.

A snicker from Jordy might have escaped Violet's notice – or at least its meaning might have – but it didn't escape Nick's. _Does he know?_ he wondered.

He shook off the question and did his best to concentrate on the Q&A manual while Taelia made small talk with the bunnies in the back. Most of this comprised of answering questions like what it was like to live at the North Pole. Violet asked most of the questions, and most of them were in the book – aside from the ones about being married to Santa, of course. She seemed to take to it pretty well, but unfortunately she wasn't the one who had all those answers to memorize.

 _I'll never make fun of one of those guys in the stores again as long as I live,_ he thought. _Okay; I get into houses with a magic key, I pay my staff with an extensive stock portfolio, Mrs. Claws and I like to go to dance clubs – no, to_ Howlolulu _in our free time._ Dance clubs were a Taelia thing, though Nick privately wondered what an island vacation would be like,

He sighed. It felt disloyal to think it, but he would have had an easier time doing the show with someone who had trained to be Mrs. Claws; even a stranger. Sure that would have been awkward, but doing it with someone he knew, and with whom he had established habits and norms, made it harder to follow the script.

 _Of course some more warning would have been good too._ Time, time, time. That was his biggest problem.

"What's Santa reading, anyway?" asked Violet suddenly.

"Oh, uh..." for once, Nick was at a loss for an answer.

"It's a secret," Jordy put in helpfully. "We're not supposed to know."

Nick glanced back at Jordy, who leaned back to make his sister couldn't see him before sending the fox a wink and raising a paw to his lips.

 _Perfect,_ thought Nick. _I'm not even in costume yet and one of the bunnies already has me pegged._ He supposed he should have been glad he'd been caught by the one inclined to keep it hush-hush, but with the pressure beginning to set in he was having some trouble spotting silver linings.

Meanwhile, Violet continued to object. "But Jordy can see it," she whined. "That's not fair."

Taelia thought fast to avoid a brawl. "You're right," she said. "It's not fair – _but,_ putting up with unfairness counts for extra points."

"It does?" asked Jordy.

"Absolutely. It's like, um... well, it's just basic goodness to not slip pepper into someone's carrot juice, right?"

"I like a bit of pepper in mine," Jordy rejoined.

Taelia bit her lip and rolled her eyes heavenward. "Well... dead spiders then," she supplied. "It doesn't mean much if you just don't do a mean thing, but if someone does it to you and _then_ you don't do it, what about that?"

Both of the kits thought that one over. "I guess that's better," Violet admitted.

"Right. So let's all try not to worry too muh about who has the best seating, and we'll all save ourselves a headache."

It was just as well that Violet accepted that suggestion. There was another headache yet to be confronted.

* * *

They got to the party with just enough time for Nick to get the beard on and get into costume. Judy ended up pulling kit duty while Taelia affixed the beard to Nick's face in a back room.

"We've got to get this thing on you before you get into costume," she explained when Nick – mostly to put off gluing anything to his chin – asked if he couldn't attach the beard after he put on the suit. "The glue makes a mess if it gets into fabric."

"What about my fur?" he protested. "And this happens to be my lucky shirt."

Truth be told, in the past Taelia had only used the glue to attach wigs. She considered advising him to shed the shirt (technically she had seen him like that, if going to the beach in Sahara Square counted), but she shied away from that. "Lie on your back, then," she said, thinking quickly.

He did as she said. "You didn't answer about my fur," he persisted as she put a paw on his chin and pushed his head way back.

"Relax." She patted her purse. "I have the solvent right here, and any residue should come off with a shower – or a shave."

"Whoa, now, hold it," he protested, holding up his paws. "Nobody said anything about a-"

" _Joking,_ Nick," Taelia pressed. If there was one thing she had learned from him and Judy, it was the use of humor to hide unease and awkwardness. This was definitely awkwardness. "I've used this at a ton of concerts. Relax. I'm a professional."

True to her word, the vixen applied the glue with practiced paws. "Try to keep still," she advised. "I'll put this just on the tips so it'll be easier to remove it later."

That was all the motivation Nick needed to keep perfectly still until she finished lifting the beard into place and holding it while the glue set.

"And... there," she finished, wiggling it experimentally. "That should leave enough room to get the solvent in later; at least a little at a time."

Nick nodded, toying with the beard. "So can I put the suit on now?"

"Not with me in the room." Taelia slipped out, wondering how Nick would look in the Santa Suit. As she understood it, the previous year Nick had worn a jacket made for Stu and, as the pants were too small, used his own. This year Bonnie had expanded the coat a little and guessed on the pants after forgetting to ask Nick's size. Nick would probably not look _quite_ as dapper in the suit as he did in his police blues, but a bit of extra girth could always be resolved with padding.

After about a minute, Nick poked his head out with an uneasy expression on his face. "Uh, Taelia? Did you or Judy happen to bring a sewing kit or something?"

Taelia's expression fell. She always kept a small kit in her purse for minor emergencies, but she had a feeling this was a bigger deal than a loose button or something. "How bad is it?" she asked.

In answer, Nick emerged in the Santa suit. The jacket was actually a pretty good fit. The pants, however...

"What waist size does she think you _wear_?" Taelia asked. Poor Nick was struggling to hold up the pants with both paws, while the cuffs trailed halfway down his feet. He was able to preserve his dignity by holding the slack bunched together on each side, but there was no way he could go out there like that.

"I don't know, but there's no belt loops – _and_ the belt is strictly decorative." He held it up for emphasis. It was at least three inches wide; too big for the loops of any pants made for something smaller than a moose. "Do you know how to sew?"

Taelia shook her head. "Nothing past busted seams and lost buttons. I'm a sound tech, not a seamstress."

Nick groaned and looked at his watch for an instant before hastening to grab the saggy pants. "Get Carrots – _fast._ "

As Taelia dashed off, the reynard ducked back inside to get back into his regular slacks. "Where did she even _get_ these pants?"

* * *

Out in the main room, Judy and Violet (now sporting the name tags 'Carrots' and 'Peppermint') had stationed themselves atop some painted crates and were trying to manage the influx of kids and chaperones getting off the orphanage bus as they - mostly the kids - mingled into the guests who had arrived ahead of them.

"Hi! Nice to meet you!" Judy greeted a shy-looking bear cub.

"You can use the stairs over there for a better view," Violet advised a group of brown mice.

It went on like that, with both bunnies encouraging the newcomers to mingle. The party was meant to be a mix of orphans and kids with intact or semi-intact families. Minimally, it would allow the orphans to get out and feel a bit less isolated. Ideally, some of the parents in attendance - possibly at the urging of their kids - would consider adopting someone. It was kind of like those sponsorship tables for kids in poor countries, but more personal and closer to home.

Several of the kids coming in had to be urged to keep moving, for it was hard not to to stop and admire the party décor. Garlands of ivy graced the walls, marked at intervals with little wreathes of ivy. It was, admittedly, all artificial, but arranged with skilled hands and an artful eye none the less. The tables were decorated with little battery-powered candles and figurines of various kinds, the garage sale-like variety of which suggested that they had been loaned or donated by various generous souls for the occasion. In among them were sprinkled little plastic confetti pieces in an assortment of shapes suited to the season. There was even a sprig of mistletoe for the grown-ups, hung over in a corner of the room which the younger kids were all diligently avoiding.

Unfortunately, Judy and Violet had little time to enjoy the atmosphere or the bashfulness of the youngsters. Apart from their main duty, they had a renegade to try to spot. Moments after they had arrived, they had discovered Jordy was missing.

"Where did he say he was going?" asked Judy, waving for young bear, deer, and the odd horse to go one way, rabbits to go another, and the smallest such as mice to go a third.

"I don't know," Violet admitted. "He just said he was going to fix something for Santa."

Judy groaned inside, hoping that this didn't mean some kind of practical joke. Heaven knew they had only just kept things going smoothly so far by the skin of their teeth.

"Oh hey, there's another fox!" cried Violet, pointing with one paw and waving with the other. "Hi!"

Turning more out of a passive instinct than any special notice, Judy nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw who it was. "What?"

Before anything else could be said of the newcomer, Taelia raced up.

"Ju- Carrots!" urged Taelia as best she could without arousing attention. "Santa needs some clothing help."

"What?"

"His pants are the wrong size." She fished in her purse and slapped a small sewing kit into Judy's paw. "Do you know how to sew?"

The timing could hardly have been worse; though the other fox feigned ignorance, Judy was quite sure their eyes had met for an instant. "Yes, I know how to sew," she answered in a distracted manner. One couldn't grow up in the Hopps household without learning the skill. Due to the sheer volume of stitching needed, everyone knew how to mend their own clothes – and was expected to do so – by the time they were ten. This, however, was really not the time.

"Then hurry up," pressed Taelia, fairly yanking Judy down and taking over her duties. "I'll keep an eye on things here."

Judy took one last look and saw that the onject of her suspicion had been accosted by a rather officious-looking elk, who seemed to be in the midst of giving her some kind of correction or reprimand. "Alright," she relented, "but keep an eye on that vixen over there. Don't let her out of your sight."

"What for?"

The doe glanced at her sister, who was diligently maintaining her post and seemed oblivious to the exchange.

"Let's just say I know her... professionally," she uttered. Then, with that cryptic advice, she headed off to see what Nick needed.

Taelia watched the vixen as instructed. She was of the arctic kind; pure white with dark, shiny eyes. Black makeup drew tapered lines from the corners of her eyes, giving her a feline appearance which underscored the silent, catlike elegance and balance of her every move. She wore a slim black dress and a white feather boa with black spots here and there. She didn't look like someone who – as Judy had intimated – would have a criminal history. Still, she knew Judy well enough to trust her judgment (it had, after all, saved her life once or twice), and besides that the strange vixen looked oddly familiar, as if Taelia herself had met her somewhere. So Taelia kept a watchful eye on her, resolving to do so at least until the mystery about her was dispelled.

That, as it turned out, was much more easily done than she had expected. As soon as the vixen was finished talking with the elk, she turned and started once more toward the crates. She paused when she spotted Taelia, looking confused and surprised. It crossed Taelia's mind that perhaps the vixen was wondering how and why Judy, dressed as one of Santa's helpers, had suddenly been replaced by a vixen dressed as his wife. The truth, however, was more than that.

"So," greeted the Arctic vixen when she had come within speaking distance. Her voice was low yet feminine, and her words rolled out as smooth as silk. "My eyes didn't deceive me. Taelia, how are you?"

Maybe it was the voice, or the intonation, or the fact that the other knew her by name, but fr whatever reason Taelia sudenly knew where they'd met and who this 'stranger' was.

"Vanya?"

 **Vanya?! Wait a second. How on earth do Taelia and Vanya know each other, and what the** _ **heck**_ **is Vanya doing at the party? Whatever's going on, it can't be good... unless you're just reading, that is. lol In case you're wondering, I put Vanya in because I needed someone to stir things up a bit later on, and however I played it they all turned into her. Between that and her success with the readers, I thought, 'Why reinvent the troublemaker'? Hope you all enjoy the twist! In the meantime, what are they going to do about Nick's costume?**

 **It occurs to me that some may wonder what I was thinking starting a Christmas fic with a quote from Maleficent, of all characters. You may recall that when the makers of Zootopia developed some of their characters – namely the two main ones – they very deliberately drew on certain extant characters, both real and fictional. When I first started developing Vanya's character I decided to channel one or two classic Disney villainesses: Maleficent, and Cruella DeVille (there's an Easter Egg clue there). Though I haven't watched** _ **Sleeping Beauty**_ **in decades, I used the clip where Maleficent crashes the party as inspiration for a couple of Vanya's scenes, such as this one and the parts to come.**

 **Also on the subject of people wondering what I was thinking (no worries; I take no offense), one Guest reviewer asked how it was possible that Taelia and Nick can have dated for more than a year now without kissing. I won't say definitively whether they've kissed or not (or even whether it's a simple yes/no question). It's actually a lot less unusual than you think, though, and I had a game plan in mind tying into that. However, your critique got me thinking, and I realized there was a better approach I could take. So thank you, and don't worry. While it would be impractical to explain it all now, I can almost guarantee there will be more to this than you imagine. So don't forget to follow and fave!**


	4. Four: A Likely Story

**" Well, quite a glittering assemblage, King Stefan. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and- _[laughs]_ How quaint! Even the Rabble."**

 **Maleficent,** _ **Sleeping Beauty**_

"This is so ridiculous," murmured Nick disquietedly as Judy hastily worked on the red sweatpants. "How in the world did your mom throw this getup together?"

Judy shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted, "but I'm sure there's an explanation." There was always an explanation where Judy's mother was involved, but it usually took a week to explain to anyone outside the family.

Hastily, she put a line of stitches down each leg from the waist to about the knee. They were more like the kind of stitching one would use on a turkey (if she had ever done that) than typical tailoring, but they would have to do in a pinch. Then she stitched the cuffs up an inch or two for good measure. "Alright, go inside and try these on," she ordered, handing them to Nick.

Nick bustled into the room and emerged a minute later wearing the taken-in sweats with his usual belt (hidden under the coat) holding them up for good measure. "Not bad," he admitted.

"Good enough," Judy accepted, darting around behind him and rushing him towards the main room. "We've got to get out there now. You won't believe it, but Vanya crashed the party!"

"Vanya?!" cried Nick. He and Judy had busted her a couple of months ago on a minor offense, but evidently the courts had failed to stick anything bigger to her. "I don't believe it! What's she doing here?"

"I don't know, but I've got Taelia watching her."

Nick facepawed. "My girlfriend is watching my ex-girlfriend?" he groaned, looking up in despair. "Oh, this night just gets better and better."

* * *

"So Taelia, trying a new suburb?" asked Vanya. She was older than when Taelia had seen her last, but her demeanor was much the same; superior with a side of creepy.

Taelia coughed. "Just visiting," she replied. "It's kind of a long story." That much was true, but it wasn't the only reason she hesitated to divulge information. She had known Vanya in high school, and while she couldn't recall anything that would account for Judy's distrust, the two of them had never gotten along well. Apart from being opposites in pretty much everything but species and sex, there had been Vanya's general air of superiority. In high school terms, she'd had plenty of grounds to feel superior. She'd been a year older, a star gymnast, popular with the tods, and exotic to boot. Taelia had been... well, the nerdette in the plain brown wrapper. The one or two times when she had caught a tod's eye were best forgotten; very forgotten. Still, she tried to remind herself that mammals could change. Nick certainly had, and so had she in some ways.

Then again, there _was_ Judy's warning. One couldn't know Judy, especially as well as she had come to, and not know that she didn't speak ill of someone without a good reason. Nick had cured her of distrusting on a hunch long ago.

Perhaps Vanya picked up on her unease, for she laughed. "Well, what are you doing now? I haven't seen you in years."

 _Feels like a lot less,_ thought Taelia. "Well, I moved into the city," she ventured. "I've got a good business going as a sound technician, and I'm starting up a blog reviewing new computer programs."

"Ah, yes. You always did like music, now that I remember," Vanya concurred. Her manner was so natural and genteel that Taelia began to feel some doubt about her suspicions and even Judy's. "I don't remember the computers, though."

"I picked up computers towards the end; the year after you graduated. What about you? Did you make it into professional gymnastics?"

Vanya laughed and waved a paw dismissively. "Oh, that. No, the gymnastics were only a hobby. I actually work as a representative for the head of TundraTown Limo Service, but I don't want to bore you with the details."

Taelia couldn't help thinking there was something fishy about Vanya's diversion from the topic. _Think, Taelia,_ she thought to herself. _What would Judy...? Right, keep her talking._ "No, no, I'd love to hear it."

* * *

Judy dodged and wove through the crowd, taking every opportunity to get up above it for a clear view of the vixens. She had realized just shy of showing Nick to the crows that doing so would be ill-advised when they needed to keep things on the down-low. So, much to her partner's annoyance, she had told him to wait out of sight of the kis while she went and brought the trouble to him.

As she drew near to the pair, she concentrated to pick out their chatter and slowed her pace when she realized that they were talking as if they knew each other. She stopped for a minute a short way behind Vanya to watch and listen unobserved.

"So why are you out here anyway?" asked Taelia. "Don't tell me your boss has business out this far at this time of year."

"Not exactly," Vanya answered, waving to the crowd of youngsters in an offhanded way. "I heard through the grapevine that the Tri-Burrow orphanage was in need of help over the holidays, so I decided to put in some time volunteering."

"Is that so?" asked Judy, stepping up close enough now to touch Vanya and propping her hands on her hips like a scolding mother. "I didn't realize they offered options on community service now."

Vanya hardly flinched, though she did just a little, as she turned toward the bunny. "Ah, I thought I saw you here. Trying a new line of work?"

Judy folded her arms. "I managed to get a few days off, but I can always make an exception if _you_ make it necessary. This way, please."

"Why?" challenged the Arctic vixen. "I've done nothing wrong, and this is hardly the place for an arrest."

"Not an arrest," Judy assured her. "Just a few questions, if you don't mind."

Vanya considered, then followed willingly enough to a place out of sight of the kids. Her eyes brightened when she saw Nick waiting, the way a hawk's eyes might brighten at the sight of a mouse.

"Ah, Nick. I might have known you'd be here tonight."

Nick had never told Taelia about his history with Vanya, but it didn't take a genius to catch Vanya's expression. Taelia hastily put out a paw and locked eyes with her old classmate.

"Mr. Claws tonight," she warned with a hint of a growl. "Or Mr. _Taelia_ to you."

Nick groaned, not sure which was worse about the situation: the embarrassment of being guarded by his girlfriend, or the predictability of the whole contest. _Why does this always look fun in movies?_ he wondered. _Television can_ not _be trusted._

Before he could say anything, Vanya laughed as she took in the obvious theatrical link. "Oh dear. What an awkward situation," she mused. "Really, Taelia, is it so wrong for me to greet an old flame?"

"Just tell us what you're doing here," Judy pressed before Taelia could react.

Vanya's eyes locked onto Judy. "You wouldn't deprive those children out there of their chaperone, would you?" she asked. Then, acting a little more serious, she went on, "Listen, I plea-bargained after our last encounter..." she glanced at Taelia and was mildly impressed to see no change in her expression, "... and I was assigned to community service at the Tri-Burrow orphanage. It's really quite simple, and all under supervision, _and_ outside of police jurisdiction," she added as a final note.

All three of her interrogators scowled at this, but Vanya had a point. Doling out punishment was, in all but the most pressing cases, strictly a judiciary matter. At the end of the day, Nick and Judy had no more say in Vanya's placement than Taelia, or even one of the kids out in the main room for that matter.

"Just behave yourself tonight," Nick warned. "I'm really not in the mood to arrest you again."

Vanya chuckled. "Don't worry, Nick. The last thing I want is to spoil a Christmas party for a bunch of children. They really have grown on me." Her airy tone might have passed for something of a 'Who knew?'... or for the most transparent insincerity any of the trio had ever heard. "Now, can we go back in? You all know I hate to miss a party."

Everyone could tell that Judy especially would have loved to clap the cuffs on Vanya then and there, but alas they had no warrant, no probable cause... not even a carrot pen. "Fine," she relented, turning and walking back into the party. The rest of the group followed until she stopped just out of view of the kids, who had now grown to a mix of not just orphans, but various families – by themselves or in groups – with one or both parents present and accounted for. It was, as Judy had had occasion to explain on the way into Bunny Burrow, a strategy to help the orphan kids feel a little less isolated... and maybe convince one or two families to make room for more kids in their homes.

"You go first," Judy told Vanya. Pest or no pest, the show had to go on. "Santa's entrance can do without you."

Vanya chuckled. "As you wish, _Carrots._ " The nickname-turned-pseudonym could hardly have been more condescending if it had come from Chief Bogo in Judy's first days on the force. Before going, Vanya turned just her head to Taelia. "By the way, Mrs. Claws, I must say I can't argue with _your_ taste." She moved just her eyes over to Nick, then went into the party with a triumphant sashay, leaving the implied mockery of her old schoolmate to linger in the air like the after-scent of a skunk.

"Rrrgh," Taelia growled until Nick put a paw on her shoulder. He would never admit it, but answering her tension was doing wonders to help him put his own on the back burner. Judy joined them, not touching but still aiding by her very presence.

"Believe me, I'd like nothing better than to let you at her," Nick whispered, " _but_ we still have to focus on the party."

Taelia let out an annoyed huff, and bit back a remark about hoping he wasn't saying that to protect Vanya. The 'old flame' remark hadn't been lost on her, but she trusted Nick. She'd doubted him once or twice before (awkward situations could not be entirely avoided in police work), but she had always ended up being sorry for it in the end.

Vanya, on the other hand... well, _she_ was one to watch.

She felt Judy's paw patting her on the back. "Trust us," the doe assured her. "We'll handle it if something comes up."

The combined reassurances restored a good measure of Taelia's spirit. These two had evidently nailed her old classmate before, and no doubt they could do it again if they had to.

"Alright, then," she said, putting on a smile and giving Nick a quick hug – admittedly more for her own comfort than his. "Let's party."

 **Hoo boy. I have to admit this chapter was pretty tense to write. I'd been toying with the idea that Vanya and Taelia might have gone to school together (part of a history I've been inventing for Vanya), but the way they clashed here was a lot more than I anticipated. Anyone else think this is going to get ugly?**

 **To dispix94: Yeah, I think what you observed is partly Vanya's own character and partly my own writing methods. Vanya is a modern character, and one who hobnobs with criminals and cash, so it's easier to link her to Cruella. (Try picturing Maleficent counting dollar bills or driving a car. I did, and it's really weird). As for it showing more in this story, that's probably because I had some difficulty connecting to her character for this scene and went back to the clip of Maleficent crashing the party for inspiration, so it was fresher in my mind. All said and done, though, the two are pretty similar characters.**

 **To BeecroftA: Well, she'll pull something. You can bet on that. As for the sewing, I suppose that would have worked. However, I already had this written up and the pillow would have made Nick too clumsy for an upcoming scene. Would have been funny, though. I like how you think.**

 **To the Guest reviewer: not to worry. I have yet to get offended over a question about one of my stories (though I guess the "wondering what I was thinking" bit might have made you think otherwise), and your question actually put me on a track that improved the story overall. I love getting reviews that do that. So to you and everyone else out there, keep those reviews coming. :)**


	5. Five: I'm Scheming of a White Christmas

Thanks to everyone for your support. I decided to forget deadlines and focus on making this as good a story as I could, so this might take a while (also, some denominations celebrate Christmas on January 7th, so Merry Christmas again).

 **"And now, back to our regularly scheduled chaos."**

 **Spider-Man, _Spectacular Spider-Man_**

"Where _is_ that Santa?" asked an old hare responsible for the party. The business with Vanya had already set them back, and the only one he could find was Violet.

"He's still getting ready," the bunny insisted.

At that moment, Judy stepped into view across the large room, leaping onto a chair as Taelia mounted one across the doorway.

 _Here goes Christmas,_ Judy thought, and took a deep breath.

 _FWEET!_

All mouths stopped, and all eyes turned to the two as Taelia took the floor... or tried to.

 _All those eyes..._

The vixen could feel her insides clinching up like a balloon neck tied in a knot.

 _Your line,_ some part of her brain told her. _Say your LINE!_

It had been years since it had been a problem, but now it came back to her: stage fright.

Judy, whose part had been to provide a drum roll with her foot, filled in with the haste of an angel of mercy. "Boys and girls!" she shouted, extending her paws toward the doorway. "Presenting Santa Claws!"

"About time," uttered the hare.

For all his uncertainty, Nick was at least more experienced at looking more confident than he felt. With an air of leisure, he strode into the room and climbed onto the chair next to Taelia.

 _You can handle one kid,_ he told himself. _It's just a whole lot of 'one kids' put together. No big deal._

Silence reigned for a moment, as fox Santas were rather a rarity in mixed communities.

Nick concentrated on his lessons and reached down deep in his torso. "Ho ho ho," he laughed out. "Merry Christmas! _Merry Christmas!_ "

Like chickens responding to the clatter of a feeder, the kids swarmed in at the sound of that laugh. Nick, though surprised at the warmth of their reception, managed to keep his cool. Taelia looked as if someone had set off a flash bulb in her face, and unconsciously stepped a little behind Nick. She was usually pretty comfortable with kids, and no one who loved dance clubs as much as she did could be all that bugged about crowds. Lots of eyes in her direction, though... well, tech talent wasn't the only reason she worked _back_ stage at concerts.

Trying not to let her fear show, she took a few deep breaths. _They're looking at Nick. They're looking at Nick,_ she told herself, hoping no one would read her body language.

Someone, however, read it like a Sahara Square billboard. In fact, not only did Vanya see the light tremor that made Taelia's dress swish, but she also noticed the vixen's paw unconsciously reaching for Nick's. Despite Vanya's subdued smile, on the inside she was cackling. Oh, she knew well enough what a risky game she was playing. She'd given Nick and Judy ample trouble in the past. She knew if they ever managed to find sufficient evidence of what they already knew about her, they could easily get her in _real_ trouble. However, the kids made a handy shield, there were all kinds of ways to yank the officers' tails without actually breaking the law, and she was too proud to let Nick off the hook for dumping her years before. Besides that, her probation at the orphanage had bored her out of her skull. Now, however, she had the perfect chance to liven things up.

The plan had been for Nick to spend a few minutes going around patting heads, shaking paws, and giving high-fives. However, since they were behind schedule, he had to get busy with what – to the kids, at least – was the main event. "Alright," he laughed as a bunny tried to climb up and get into his lap then and there. "Give me a little room to breathe. I'm kind of old, you know."

At that moment, Jordy appeared from wherever he had been hiding, pulling and tugging at a large wagon filled with an even larger bag.

"Got the stuff, boss!" he called.

Nick was quick to mask his surprise at the rabbit's sudden reappearance. "Ah, Darth Chocolate. Perfect." He jumped down and dashed across to give Jordy a hand, swiftly followed by the rest of the entourage. "Make way, please! Make way!" he called.

"Here, let me help you with that." A panda in the audience came up behind the cart and, waving the rabbits aside, but his weight into the job. Nick, seeing an opportunity, waved Taelia to jump up onto the front. Then he followed and, using the handle to maneuver, easily guided their goods to a spot at the base of the tree where there sat a large, velvety chair.

"Whoa! Whoa!" called Nick as the cart reached its destination. He jumped off and climbed into the chair. "Alright now, no rushing."

It took a little herding from the grown-ups, but the kids all gathered in a group in front of the chair.

"Alright," called Judy, fishing a small plastic fish bowl out of the top of the sack. Inside were folded slips of paper. "So we can do this fairly, everyone take a number."

As she distributed the cards, Nick doled out assignments in a low voice. Taelia's had been addressed when her role was decided; she'd be stationed by him, handing out candy canes or suitable equivalents to everyone and small gifts to the kids from the orphanage.

"Okay. Peppermint, you take the jar when Carrots is done with it, and take back the numbers as the kids come up here." Darth Chocolate, you'll be time keeper. Make sure everyone gets a fair turn."

"Yes sir!" exclaimed Jordy, saluting smartly. He hadn't mentioned it, but he'd been thinking of trying for 'First Rabbit Soldier,' since Judy already had the police force. Then he suggested that his sister go help Judy with handing out the numbers. As soon as she was gone, he winked to the foxes' confused faces and slipped a clipboard out of the wagon. "Got something for you, Santa."

Nick examined the clipboard as Jordy handed it to him. On the back of the board, Jordy had written 'Naughty/Nice List' in red magic marker on a piece of masking tape. Clipped to the board, however, were Nick's prepared answers.

"Uh, thanks," he whispered, "but I think it's a little late for me to go over this."

"No, no," pressed Jordy, putting his mouth right up to Nick's ear. "Judy or I'll be next to you the whole time. If you forget an answer, one of us can help you out."

It was a pretty thin disguise, but it would have to do. Besides, just having it there was a great comfort to Nick. "I'll remember this back at the North Pole," he whispered. "I owe you one, Jordy."

"Darth Chocolate," Jordy coughed.

"Oh, right."

In the crowd, Vanya had apparently decided to needle Judy a little. Positioning herself between a bear and a deer so her size was less noticeable, she tried to slip her paw into the bowl as Judy passed by.

"Hey!" Judy hissed, snatching it back.

"I'm small enough to sit on Santa's lap," Vanya whispered.

Judy shook her head. "Very funny," she muttered, and went on with her job.

Vanya rolled her eyes and waited for Judy to be out of hearing before she whispered to the confused youngsters. "See Mrs. Claws?" she whispered. "You should watch her closely. Sometimes she does magic, and if you blink you may miss it."

Amid their amazed stares at her bold claim, she hid a smirk and slipped away. The seed had been planted.

 **Aw, snap. Miss Grinch is on the move, and Taelia's freezing up. Nothing unusual for the last part (apparently people are, on average, more afraid of being in the spotlight than they are of dying), but talk about bad timing.**

 **I noted a lot of feedback indicating that Judy seemed excessively hostile toward Vanya. Part of that was, I confess, a slight lapse on my part; in channeling Maleficent into Vanya, I ended up incorporating the other fairies into Judy. I've gone back and made a few small tweaks to the previous chapter to try and fix up that confusion. The other part is that, although this is not the same storyline as SS, I wanted to present Vanya as a recurring thorn-in-the side type.**

 **To the Guest review on Chapter Four: Not sure where that's a surprise, but yes, they're dating.**

 **On a side note, I'm giving a shout-out to "A Study in Gold," a fantastic Sherlock Holmes-ish fanfic about Judy and Nick cracking a case in a Victorian version of Zootopia. For anyone who likes good world-building, well-researched material, and a mystery loaded with twists and surprises, the story is an absolute can't-miss. Definitely check it out.**

 **My thanks again to everyone for supporting and commenting. It's a big help. So please continue!**


	6. Six: A Rude Awakening

Sorry to everyone waiting on an update for Something Stinks. Quality control has posed some delay, and switching back to my usual job may trim back my writing time. However, I shall try to keep up, and in the meantime here's another chapter of Christmas confusion (which, come to think of it, would have been a great story title)

 **Calvin: "Wait, wait. I'm not in character yet. What motivates an onion?"**

 **Hobbes: "Fame, I guess. This could be a big break."**

 _ **Calvin and Hobbes,**_ **by Bill Watterson**

Somewhere in the midst of her weed-planting, Vanya bumped into the elk who had spoken with her before.

"Miss White," inquired the elk, adopting a formal tone he used on special occasions – like when he had a hunch Vanya was up to no good. "I get the impression you know the guests of honor."

Vanya, in usual form, played innocent. "You mean the children? I think I've met most of them."

Mr. Prongsly – for that was the elk's name – met this with an indulgent half-chuckle which almost sounded amused. His knack for faking a good humor was one of the few things Vanya enjoyed about him. "Actually, I meant Santa and co. over there."

The vixen kept her cool, though she could tell a snare was drawing shut around her. "Only the adults."

Mr. Prongsly glanced toward the cluster up front. He'd been informed at the last minute by his secretary that a police officer would be filling in as Santa at the party, and he had already known about Judy. Taelia's role in the matter was unknown, and he doubted it mattered, but when two cops were evidently familiar with someone on community service, it didn't take a pilot to anticipate some turbulence.

"Well," he advised, "I suggest you catch up some other time." Casting around a quick and practiced glance born from working with kids, he assured himself that none of the youngsters were paying attention to their reparte. "Remember," he added in a low voice, "you may know _them,_ but you _don't_ know Santa."

Vanya knew well enough to play nice when the boss was looking. "Of course," she assured him. "That's just what I told them, more or less. Wouldn't want to ruin the party for the youngsters."

Mr. Prongsly was largely unaware of Vanya's talent for deception – even Mr. Big and others for whom she had worked did not know everything she did or had done – but he wasn't exactly stupid. "Good," he added in a tone which subtly turned that one word into ' _Be_ good, or else.' "Just so long as we're all on the same page."

The vixen nodded with a disarming smile.

"By the way," added Mr. Prongsly, "I know working with kids isn't your specialty. Rumor has it there's an opening in Zootopia's sanitation department if you want it."

It was a warning so obvious that a neon sign hung between the elk's antlers could not have outdone it. "I'll keep that in mind," Vanya promised without blinking, "but I think I'll stay where I am."

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Nick found himself in pretty good spirits. The kids were all sitting on the floor, forming successive semi-circles in front of him by height and coming up as their numbers were called. Judy, having learned of the clipboard scheme, had stationed herself well away from her little sister with the incriminating dossier. Jordy stood beside her in his pre-assigned role with a watch.

Vanya, in a rare display of cooperation, had agreed to take a station at the back of the group of kids and fulfill, in that quarter, the same office as the kits up front. Through gaps in the sparse outer ring of larger mammals (most of the kids were, of course, rabbits), the vixen could be seen now and then whispering in an ear or two. However, even with rabbit ears it was impossible for Judy to tell what was going on back there without abandoning her post, and she couldn't give too much thought to the matter lest she miss her cue. Besides, Mr. Prongsly had drawn her aside briefly and filled her in on his little chat with Vanya. He was presently keeping tabs on things at the back from a closer vantage point in between taking snapshots of his wards and telling Saint Nick what good kids they had been.

 _Might as well leave well enough alone,_ thought Judy against her better judgment. _Maybe she's just answering their questions or something._

Had she looked across the chair where Nick sat – and occasionally yielded the seat while children too big for his lap posed for photo ops – she might have guessed at Vanya's shrewd plan. Taelia, though mercifully diverted by the periodic task of handing out candy canes and little star-shaped ornaments, could not help noticing the attention that came her way. The aggravation of her temperament was rejoined by the strange questions that came as well.

"Can you only pull quarters out of ears? I think mine are big enough for dollars."

"If you pull something out of a hat, can you make it a bird? I don't like reptiles."

So it continued, and while she might have easily managed a string of bizarre questions on their own, it was harder when she didn't know whether to answer as herself or as Mrs. Claws. For all she knew, Mrs. Claws was supposed to do magic tricks; maybe keep the kids entertained until it was their turn to see Santa. How was she to know?

With these combined difficulties _and_ all the staring, it took a lot of effort to keep her wits about her and not let her kindly smile turn into a _very_ forced grin.

Nick, meanwhile, was getting his share of odd questions, but his were to be more expected. For some he had ready answers, strategically fed to him by Judy. Others had to be ad-libbed.

"Well," he explained when one rabbit kit asked him why Jordy Hopps was one of his helpers when everyone knew the Hopps family lived right there in town and not at the North Pole, "I've got subdivisions everywhere. It's one way I keep track of everyone."

The kit turned unhappy eyes toward 'Darth Chocolate.' "Snitch," he muttered.

"Now now," Nick corrected, shaking a finger. "Worry more about what _you're_ doing, not what others are saying about it."

However, as the Q&A continued, Nick also began to meet with stranger and more exact questions, especially from the orphans. One asked what kind of pancakes he liked best. Another wanted to know what book he'd read last.

 _Just keep going, Nick,_ he told himself as the next number called brought forth a little brown mouse who, with a lift from Taelia, shyly made his way to Nick's knee.

"What's your name, kiddo?" asked Nick warmly.

"Erm, Michael, sir. But my friends call me Mike."

"Okay, Mike. Have you been good this year?"

Mike shifted. "Uh, well, there was the incident with the rug..." he admitted.

"He's been a fine boy," added Prongsly. Nick had learned in course that this elk was a kind of assistant director at the orphanage, and so the fox wisely skipped over questions about parents. Taelia, meanwhile, felt much as Judy had when she first witnessed Nick and Finnick's Father and Son routine in the ice cream shop.

"Well, then," asked Nick warmly, "what can I get you for Christmas?"

Mike glanced at the crowd. "Well, a skateboard would be nice, but... you mind if I climb up and whisper it?"

Nick smiled and nodded, so Mike clambered up the folds of his coat. The sight was so endearing that Taelia slipped out her phone to snap a picture, but the mouse was surprisingly quick and nimble. By the time she had opened the camera app, he had his head practically inside Nick's ear. Despite this precauation and Taelia's efforts to avoid eavesdropping, the vixen's sharp ears picked up something about "Omanad" and "Ugluff."

Whatever it was the mouse had actually said, Nick's face scrunched in confusion. "Okay, that last part?"

The mouse drew back. "I'm a grasshopper mouse," he explained.

"Oh," Nick nodded. "Well... I'll see what I can do."

The mouse nodded and smiled, but it was the kind of smile kids gave when they knew the answer was no and they were trying to be big about it. "Thanks, Santa."

Taelia held out her paws, then lowered the mouse to the floor. Nick could see the quizzical look on her face and waved her to lean her ear his way.

"He wants a mom and dad," he whispered. "Preferably a mom who makes great bug loaf."

"Oh." Taelia felt her heart sink as she looked toward the group of kids into which the mouse had disappeared. He _might_ get some parents for Christmas, mightn't he? After all, half the idea of the party was the hope that parents, swayed by the 'lost canary' effect, might decide to look into adoption. She had half a mind to ask about Mike herself, but she really wasn't in a position to adopt just yet; especially not a kid who wanted both parents.

 _I wonder if I can fix up a bug loaf and get it to the orphanage before we leave tomorrow?_ she thought to herself. It would hardly be everything the mouse wanted, but it would at least be something.

Nick caught the sorrowful look on her face, and couldn't help feeling a little uneasy. "Uh, okay," he called, "Who's next?"

The next youngster was a fawn, backed by a father with a camera. After Nick had remitted him the chair while he rattled off his list, the fawn asked where Santa and Mrs. Claws liked to go on their time off.

"Uh, well..." Nick faltered. He knew he'd gone over that one.

Judy took a quick look over the 'Naughty/Nice' list and coughed, "Howlnolulu."

"Right," Nick agreed. "We like to go on vacation in Howlnolulu."

"Oh," answered the fawn. "What do you do there?"

"Well, I like a bit of surfing," Nick replied, which was actually one thing he and Saint Nick apparently had in common. He wasn't that good at it, but he figured any time the surfboard didn't end up clonking him over the head (which had happened on occasion, actually) was a good time. "And my wife likes to scuba dive."

Actually, Taelia had never been scuba diving before, but with such mental faculties as she could spare at the moment, she made a mental note to try it if the opportunity ever came along.

As the fawn departed, Nick threw Jordy a wink. "Thanks, Darth Chocolate," he whispered. The young buck's idea was working like a charm.

At least, it _seemed_ to be working perfectly... until the next kid asked why Santa needed so many reminders from his helper.

 _Aw, snap,_ thought Nick. He was dead sure there wasn't an answer for that one in the cheat sheet. "Uh, my memory's kind of spotty," he ad-libbed in haste. "You know; busy time of year, lots of kids to remember; you get the idea."

"But you don't forget on Christmas night, do you?" asked the youngster anxiously.

"No, no, of course not. I always have my checklist handy then. It's just that right now, I... well, I guess I should get some more coffee in a bit. Nothing to worry about."

The kids didn't seem worried, but perhaps Nick should have been when a boy rabbit, on his turn, brought him a steaming hot cup of coffee and some creamer and sugar packets.

"I didn't know how you like it," he said, "so I brought you the stuff to put in."

"Oh, gee, thanks," said Nick, putting them aside. "That was really nice – but, first things first." _I could get used to this,_ he thought.

He was preoccupied enough with the kit, and then with mixing the coffee, that he failed to notice other youngsters slipping off toward the refreshment tables. Judy, however, noticed it and bit her lip.

 _I've got a bad feeling about this._

 **Uh-oh. How do you suppose this is going to go bad – and what about Vanya's meddling? How long can Taelia hold out if someone doesn't catch on in ti** **me?**

 **Guest Reviewer on Chapter 5: Vanya is flattered by your assessment.**

 **For those unfamiliar with the term "grasshopper mouse," it refers to a ce** **rtain kind of mouse named for its favored prey; unlike most mice, which are chiefly herbivorous, grasshopper mice will go after insects. They are also known, curiously enough, for "roaring," though as far as I know the movie title "The Mouse That Roared" has nothing to do with them. In any case, I thought it would be interesting to slip one in here.**

 **Easter Eggs**

 **There are actually at least four Stuart Little Easter Eggs in this chapter. You probably caught one; see if you can find the rest.**

 **There is also a Back to the Future reference slipped in with one of the Stuart Lit** **tle refs.**

 **On a completely unrelated note, one of these characters is probably related to a famous singer... but who?**

 **It is with mixed feelings that I report that JrRangerScout will no longer be proofreading my stories for the foreseeable future. He has some new classes and a new job, and will not be able to provide timely feedback, so the next chapter of Something Stinks will be his last. I'm glad for him, but the writing won't be the same without him.**

 **Thank you all for your feedback and support. Don't forget to Fave, Follow, and Review!**


	7. Seven: Problem in a Tight Space

**Sarah: "Well, a little rain never hurt anybody."**

 **Alan: "No, but a lot could kill you."**

 _ **Jumanji**_

Nick was in _agony._ His coffee claim, alas, had been _too_ good of an idea when used in a room full of kids who were all so anxious to ensure a spot on the Nice list. In the space of a couple of minutes, one cup had turned into two. In ten minutes, two had turned into four. Fifteen turned four into eight, and half an hour turned eight into somebody-get-me-some-moose-sedative-and-I-mean-now.

"NothanksIthinkI'vehadenoughcoffeenow," he jabbered when another steaming cup came his way. "Justgiveittimetohitmybloodstream."

"I think it's hit your bloodstream," Judy remarked, trying to maintain a cool exterior while she thought of a way to salvage the matter. It hadn't escaped her that Nick had abandoned the preferred way of situating kids on his lap and was keeping his knees clamped together like a vice.

Jordy caught her look and leaned over to Violet. Violet listened attentively while he whispered, then slipped him her watch and darted off on her errand.

"Peppermint!" called Judy, using Violet's stage name.

"Relax," Jordy assured her.

A few moments later, the sound system began to belt out, 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.'

"Oh, hey, time to jam!" exclaimed Jordy. "Don't worry, kids! Santa will still be here later!" Then he began to dance in a manner which made up in enthusiasm what it lacked in know-how.

After some disappointed moans and a few reluctant looks, the kids began to get caught up in the fun or at least drift towards the snack tables. Nick could have hugged Jordy, but he was too busy 'merrily' waving off the kids – and making a beeline for the bathroom when the coast was clear.

Judy straightened her ears and the hat nestled between them, the wind of Nick's passing having blown all three askew. "Did you hear a pop when he went by?" she asked Jordy.

It was some minutes before Nick returned, looking greatly refreshed but still as jittery as a live wire. "Well," he said briskly, "SinceI'mupandaroundIthinkI'lljointhedancing."

Violet came trotting up, carrying a jug nearly the size of her own body. "Oh, Santa," said she, "I went by the snack bar. Mom said this cider's for you."

At the sight of more liquid refreshment, the fox turned positively pale and drew back as if the kit were carrying a basket of cobras.

"Well, that's very nice of you," said Judy, intercepting the jug. "I'll tell you what: why don't I just put this in the back with Santa's things so he can enjoy it later?" Then she looked to Taelia and jerked her free thumb at Nick. "Better get going, Mrs. C. I've seen him dance, and you might not catch him like this again."

Taelia and Nick exchanged a look, and Nick made an elegant sweeping bow. "MayIhavethisdance?"

Almost before she could answer, he swept her out onto the dance floor amid the kids, making the only pair and the closest thing to organized dancing in the bunch.

"Whoa, Nick," Taelia pleaded, forgetting to act as she struggled to keep up with him. His dancing was as fast and energetic as his talking, and she – despite her fondness for jazz and country – was struggling to keep up. To make matters worse, dancing with the life of the party wasn't helping her stage fright at all. If she had felt the eyes on her any more acutely she'd have been swatting herself like a camper in mosquito season.

"S-s-sorry," he amended, struggling to talk at something like a normal pace and achieving a pretty good impression of a badly recorded tape. "I r-really c-c-can't help help help it."

She knew that was the case, and so she did her best to accommodate him as they spun, dipped, and whirled around the dance floor to the immense enjoyment of the onlookers. However, after some time she had to take a breather... or pass out.

"Woo. I'm going to sit down," she told him, breaking out of their tango.

Judy, who had been dancing just for the fun of it (much easier without a dance partner hopped up on espresso), stopped her own soiree to walk 'Mrs. Claws' over to the snack bar.

"Are you okay?" asked a kit they passed.

"She's fine," Judy waved. "She's just not used to Santa being this... energetic."

"Yeah, energetic," Taelia agreed. Then, in a lower voice, she added, "Am I supposed to be four hundred? I feel four hundred."

Judy actually spared a moment to think about that. "I think if you were the real Mrs. Claws you'd be more like seventeen hundred."

"Oh, well," answered the vixen with what sarcasm she could muster, "in that case I feel just great."

As they made their way through the crowd, they forgot to look out for Vanya. She, however, had not forgotten them.

"Well well," the arctic vixen chuckled to herself. "How careless of her to leave such a charming reynard lying around."

She began to twist and dance her own way through the crowd towards Nick.

* * *

Over at the snack bar, Taelia soon began to recover. A cup of cold carrot juice to soothe her throat from all the panting helped, as did a chaser of hot cider. Rejeuvenated, she turned her attention to the pies and Christmas cookies. She had selected blueberry pie, pumpkin pie, and a selection of C, and was about to sit down, when a sudden and none-too-articulate noise of frustration and anger from Judy caught her attention.

"What-?" she started to ask, but in turning she saw what was going on. Vanya was out on the dance floor and, despite Nick's best efforts, was very clearly trying to turn his solo dance into a paired-up tango. Ordinarily Nick might have held his own just fine, but Vanya could make an eel look about as slippery as sandpaper when she wanted, and Nick – jiggered as he was with caffeine – only half-knew what he himself was doing.

"Seventeen hundred years," Taelia muttered, starting to feel much more like her stage identity than her real one. "I'm too old for this."

Judy put a paw out to intercept her friend at stomach level and stop her from getting up. "I'll get this. You just recharge."

Taelia watched the bunny depart and shook her head. She remembered Vanya being rather a witch back in high school, but this was taking it to a whole new low.

Shaking out of her bitterness, she regarded the cookies and slipped them onto another plate, leaving it where she was confident some younger paws would soon have hold of it in such a crowd. _I don't need empty calories right now,_ she thought, shoveling the blueberry pie into her mouth as she returned to the snack table. _Fast energy. That's what I need._

Those who knew Taelia knew that, though her inner nature was that of a very free spirit, there was a pragmatic side to her as well which had been brought on by years of adapting to her own needs and the caprices of society. That other side was now at the fore as she studied the table like someone choosing weapons for a duel. She promptly zeroed in on some fruit platters and a bowl of yogurt set among them for dipping, made her selections, and sat down to refuel.

* * *

Vanya was only briefly surprised when, amidst her efforts to snag Nick, Judy caught her target by the paw and whipped him around, sending him spinning across the dance floor.

Judy threw the startled vixen a dismissive look, figuring if Vanya could play the antagonist then so could she. "You _know_ he's playing a married fox tonight, right?"

It didn't take a genius to recognize the taunt, and Vanya parried with a glib glance at Nick. "I don't see a ring," she answered glibly, and glided smoothly around Judy. Judy, however, followed her move and side-stepped to bar her way, dancing solo in her own inimitable manner as if nothing had happened.

 _Well,_ thought Vanya, brushing aside her annoyance at the interruption, _this is starting to get interesting._

Normally, Judy was more than equal to any physical confrontation. Any bunny who could bring down a rhino and outmaneuver a savage jaguar should have been able to handle a vixen with no problem. Alas, the setting prohibited a good leg sweep or other similarly aggressive maneuvers, and propriety hindered her from simply occupying Nick's arms herself (plus, the difference in height would have made it raher difficult to do a couples dance anyway). So she resorted to keeping herself between Vanya and Nick as much as possible, and occasionally delivering different kinds of literal low blows; a hip check here, 'accidentally' step on Vanya's feet or tail there, and so on.

Vanya, in true fashion, fought dirty – and she was much better at disguising demolition as dancing.

"Sorry!" she yelped when, doing a spin on one foot, her other foot connected with Judy's side.

"Opps!" she hissed when a bump of her side sent Judy stumbling.

Judy scowled and resumed her own half of it, taking care not to let Vanya drag her to higher levels of aggression.

* * *

Over at the DJ table, Jordy was directing the ferret in charge of the music to keep it running.

"Shouldn't we get back to the main party?" asked the latter.

Jordy looked over at Nick, who still looked much too wired to sit down and listen to kids for an extended time. "No, no, keep it going. Santa needs to, uh, stretch his legs some more. You know; old bones."

The ferret shrugged. "If you say so."

* * *

If there was one thing running smoothly, it was Judy's advice to Taelia. Ten minutes of rest and scrupulous refreshment had done wonders for the vixen's body. The same time of watching the dance battle had expunged from her mind all thoughts of having anyone stare at her, and hardened her nerves to tempered steel on two accounts. For one thing, she had every assurance that any hopes Vanya might have with Nick were in vain... but then, there was still the violation of territory. For another, while she knew Judy could handle and had handled knocks much worse than what Vanya was dishing out, it was one thing to know the bunny could survive a fight with a rhino and an entirely different one to see her getting smacked around.

The plate of cookies, amazingly, had gone untouched even amid all those kids, so as Taelia got up she reached over and grabbed a cookie for luck, downing it as she headed out to the dance floor. An instant later, all thoughts of settling matters with her old schoolmate vanished like smoke as a strange and terrible sensation seized her esophagus.

The cookie, either by a fluke or by not being chewed enough, would not go down. Taelia had lost the ability to breathe.

 **Ohhh, shittake mushrooms. What's going to happen with the dance battle now, and will anyone notice what's happening to Taelia before...? Oh, man, this** _ **is**_ **bad.**

 **For those wondering, my research indicates that the real Saint Nicholas was born March 15, 270 AD (which I am of some mind to question as birth dates that far back are rarely so precise), which would make him 1,748 this year. Although I am not under the impression that he ever married, I – and Judy – worked with the notion that his wife would also fall somewhere in the seventeen hundreds bracket. Of course, it is doubtful that Mrs. Claus would admit to her real age no matter what it was. My own mother won't tell me her age, and she doesn't look a day over 100.**

 **P.S. If that sounds like a horrible thing to say, please rest assured that my mom would laugh at it. She's got a good sense of humor and has actually done a pret-ty good job of staying young considering all she's been through in life.**


	8. Eight: How to Save a Life

**PLEASE NOTE: The following chapter contains explicit information about an emergency medical procedure. It is suitable for all ages; just pay attention. This information could make you a hero one day.**

 **'Twas the night before Christmas and forty below**

 **When Snoopy went up in search of his foe.**

 **He spied the Red Baron, and fiercely they fought.**

 **With ice on his wings, he knew he was caught.**

 _ **Snoopy's Christmas**_

The first clue the officers had that anything was wrong was when one of the kits at the party screamed.

"MRS. CLAWS!"

All heads whipped in the direction of the cry, and with his edge over Judy in height, Nick was the first to catch a glimpse of the crisis. In the middle of a widening circle of shocked onlookers, Taelia had crumpled to her knees with one paw on her throat and the other waving feebly as if for something on which to stabilize herself. Her eyes were wide and seemed half-possessed with sheer terror, and her mouth hung open as if pleading for the precious oxygen to rush in. One or two in the crowd would reflect afterward on having seen demonstrations of how CPR was to be done, but it was nothing like the real thing. No actor could have ever matched the horrendous spectacle.

"Oh!" cried Judy, having jumped up to get a clear view. While Nick was the first to see, she had an advantage in speed. "Scusemepardonmeonesideplease!" she jabbered, zig-zagging between, under, and occasionally over the crowd with more agility than she had ever plied in pursuit of a suspect. Nick was fast on her heels, shouldering his way through and taking advantage of any gap that opened in Judy's wake. For the first time that night, he was glad to be on such a caffeine high – or would have been if there'd been room for thought next to his blind panic.

"Taelia, talk to me," pleaded Judy. She'd been in worse cases before as an officer, but... _God, please, no,_ she begged inwardly. "Are you choking?"

The vixen nodded anxiously, and at once the bunny circled behind. Clenching a fist with one paw and angling the thumb side into Taelia's stomach, she capped it with the other paw and gave a tremendous thrust. Then another, and another. She zipped around to Taelia's front to see if there was any sign of the obstruction, but there was none.

"Sittightcarrots," Nick babbled as he arrived. Whether he was talking so quickly from the coffee or the panic, even he couldn't guess. Kneeling behind Taelia to put himself at her height, he did the same thing Judy had done.

"Let me help!" someone cried.

There are few things worse than good help at the wrong time. In moments, everyone was trying to offer help or advice as Nick worked to clear his girlfriend's airway while Judy stood by, small paws at the ready to remove any hindrance she could.

"Stop! STOP!" shouted Prongsly. When that did nothing, he threw back his head and trumpeted the low, echoing song of his people, so loudly that the very walls seemed to shake. Everyone froze at the bellow; even the officers, though their training almost instantly put them back in action.

"She's gonna be alright, right?" asked the mouse from before.

He happened to standing right next to Vanya, who snapped, "Oh, Jimminiy Christmas, kid, shut up."

He did stop talking, though he kept his fingers crossed.

It was a good thing Nick and Judy had their training onhand; no amount of thought could have punctured their fear. Nick pumped with dazzling speed at Taelia's abdomen. _One, two, three, four, five!_

"Check!" Judy cried, looking into Taelia's open mouth as Nick paused his rhythm.

No obstacle was in sight.

"Go!"

 _One, two, three, four, five!_

"Check!" Pause. "Go!"

 _One, two, three, four, five!_

Nothing.

 _One, two, three, four, five!_

Nothing.

 _One, two, three, four, five!_

… still nothing.

Taelia's head was beginning to throb. Her lungs were burning; her eyes streamed; her throat screamed out for mercy. She didn't even have the energy to try to breathe out with the compressions.

 _One, two-_

A crumbled, soggy mess of Christmas cookie hurtled out of her mouth, spattering on the floor at Judy's feet. Judy didn't even notice the mess. "Miss?" she asked, her police training having taken over so thoroughly that she could barely even remember names. "Miss, talk to me. Are you okay? Can you talk?"

Taelia coughed, gasped, and took several deep, shaky breaths before, barely holding herself up with her hands and knees, she nodded. "Thanks," she wheezed.

A cheer rose up from the onlookers.

"Alright, alright," called Mr. Prongsly. "Good job. Kids, make some space. I think Mrs. Claws needs to go lie down now; she's had a rough time. Did anyone call 9-1-1?"

The elk knew more than he was letting on. Most people think that clearing an airway is a simple do-it-and-done process. Alas, when something gets caught in a person's airway, there's no knowing what it might do coming out again. Sometimes it does no harm at all once it's removed. Other times, it can devastate the throat.

Everyone who knew that was wonderfully relieved to see several paws and hooves raised in answer.

"Good. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, but good job. Very good job."

As the vixen slogged out of the room, carried by her friends, chatter began to rise up. "She's not gonna die, is she?" someone asked.

"Don't be silly," someone else said. "Mrs. Claws is immortal. She can't die."

Vanya discreetly kicked the kid who said that. Sure, she'd been tormenting Taelia to get at Nick, but this... this was beyond even her cruelty. _For the love of God, kid, just shut up,_ she thought.

* * *

The officers took Taelia to a back room, assuring Jordy and Violet that all would be fine and telling them to go help Mr. Prongsly. Sitting Taelia in the most comfortable chair they could find on short notice, they gave her some water and Judy peered as best she could down the vixen's throat.

"I don't see anything," she reported. "How do you feel?"

Taelia kept putting a hand to her throat every few moments. "Awful," she reported, her voice scratchy. "It hurts."

"One to ten, ten being the worst?"

Taelia considered for a moment and gave it a three. "I _had_ a ten tonight," she added.

Judy bit her lip, feeling terrible. If someone hadn't screamed, she might have lost one of her best friends that night. Even Nick, the master of disguised emotions, looked awful.

Despite the pain in her esophagus, Taelia managed a smile. "Thanks," she said. "I don't know what I'd have done without you two."

In the main room, Mr. Prongsly was doing his best to reassure everyone that Mrs. Claws was just fine. Alas, nobody entirely bought it and the party was history as far as they were all concerned. Even the worst kids didn't feel like sitting on Santa's lap to tell him what they wanted in their stockings right after watching his wife almost get strangled.

It was inevitable that one of the kids would slip through. Michael, clutching a round bell with one paw inside to hold the ball and keep it from ringing, managed to sneak back to see the stricken vixen.

"Mrs. Claws?" he called when he was right alongside Judy.

Both of the officers jumped, and instantly their eyes and Taelia's were on the mouse.

He shrank a little under the sudden attention. "I'm sorry you got choked."

Everyone softened. "It's not your fault," Taelia assured him. Then she got curious. "Why the bell?"

He held it up. "I thought maybe you should have it – after having such a rough night."

Taelia had never felt more touched in her life. She'd given that bell to Michael herself; just one trinket of dozens just like it, but to the mouse an irreplaceable keepsake of the Christmas party he'd never forget.

She shook her head, too choked up – so to speak – to say anything.

Nick interpreted for her. "Uh, thankskid," he said, his rush beginning to subside, "But Ithink you should keepit."

Michael looked uncertain. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Taelia nodded, finding her voice at last. "Something to remember tonight," she told him. "I'm sure you'll never have a Christmas party like this one."

The mouse shuffled his paws. "Well, thanks," he said. He glanced toward the doorway to make sure none of the other kids were listening, then added, "And by the way, just between us, I know you guys aren't really from the North Pole."

All three of them were crestfallen, wondering how many of the other kids knew it was all an act. They couldn't help thinking of the one – or ones – who had been confident of Taelia's survival because she was Mrs. Claws and Mrs. Claws couldn't die.

Then Michael finished, "but I don't think anyone could do it better if they tried. Whatever they paid you, it wasn't enough."

As the mouse walked out of the room, the three looked at one another. Judy and Nick couldn't help thinking: was even a moment like _that_ worth what Taelia just went through?

She knew them too well not to guess what they were thinking. "Wrong on that last part," she said. They stared at her in confusion, half-worrying that she was getting disoriented. She saw the looks on their faces and smiled, feeling a strange sense of calmness.

"It's okay, guys. I'm just… oh, I'm tired." Unwittingly, one of her paws groped in Nick's direction and found his paw. "Is it a problem if I just try to go to sleep for a while?"

To tell the truth, nobody would have liked anything more than to let her go to sleep. Unfortunately, medically speaking it would be too risky. If her throat swelled up or any leftover bits of cookie shifted around, they'd need to know on the double.

"Try to stay awake," Judy urged. "Rest is fine; just don't go to sleep." Guessing that the foxes would like some privacy, she jerked a thumb towards the main room. "Listen; I'm going to get her something to drink. Nick, you want anything?"

A look of weary distaste crossed his features. "Anything that _doesn't_ have caffeine."

They all needed the laugh they got out of that.

* * *

It took about thirteen minutes for the ambulance to arrive; too long for Nick's or Judy's liking, certainly. Taelia was a bit ambivalent on the matter. On the one paw, she wanted the kids to know she was alright. On the other paw, after all the chaos and noise of the party she rather enjoyed just being with her friends for a while. No loud noises, no crazy running round, no staring strangers. _This is what a country Christmas should be,_ she thought, though even as she thought it her mind drifted back to the kids and the unfinished party, making her feel guilty again.

Then the crew showed up, and the magic was gone. Both foxes were reluctant as the EMTs – two rabbits and a sheep – separated them to examine Taelia.

"I don't know _how_ I'm going to stay jolly for those kids now," uttered Nick, watching as the sheep fitted Taelia with a blood pressure cuff.

Judy straightened up as a thought hit her. "Nick, you can't go back to the party."

"Why not?" asked Nick, confused. His brain was still fatigued from everything that had happened, not to mention coming down off the caffeine rush.

"Because those kids think your _wife_ is leaving in an ambulance; _that's_ why," she pressed. "No way Santa would leave Mrs. Claws in a spot like this."

When she put it that way, Nick Wilde wasn't too crazy about doing that to his girlfriend either. Still, leaving Judy to tackle all those kids by herself?

She must have read his mind. She gave him a little shove toward the ambulance crew. "Go on. It can't hurt to ask."

Nick staggered a little as he went to the side of the stretcher, where Taelia had been situated as if she were in a lawn chair. "Uh, 'scuse me," he called up to a deer who was making sure all the equipment was duly situated.

The doe looked down at him quizzically. "You the mister?" she asked.

Nick coughed. "Well, for tonight anyway. I'm her boyfriend the rest of the time."

At this the EMT nodded as if she'd seen it all before – which, Nick would later reflect, she very well might have. "Well don't worry. We'll take good care of Mrs. Claws, Mr…"

"Wilde," Nick supplied. "Nick Wilde. And actually, I was hoping you could use a ride-along."

"What's going on?" called Taelia from inside the ambulance.

The doe EMT raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Wilde, I'm sorry to tell you this, but we have a firm policy. Unless you're married to the patient, or emergency-"

"He's a police officer," Judy cut in. After everything they'd gone through, her friends _needed_ this. Besides, if Nick had to wait in the back while they wrapped up a party of antsy kids, he might have a nervous breakdown. Spurred by this urgency, her words came tumbling out. "Officer Nicholas Wilde; maybe you've heard of him. ZPD Precinct One."

Nick was already fumbling in his pocket. "Yeah, yeah. I've got my badge here… somewhere."

His pants had no pockets.

"Aw, snap," he moaned in despair. He'd left his badge in his other pants, and going back for it…

"Look," Judy interjected. She couldn't take this. She really couldn't. After everything else that had gone wrong, _something_ had to go right. "There's a bunch of kids in that party back there who think he's Santa, and they've already had their party ruined enough by Mrs. Claws nearly dying right on the dance floor. You don't want them to see Santa trying to act like everything's fine _now,_ do you?"

The deer shook her head and sighed. "Alright, I guess it _is_ Christmas – or close enough anyway. I'll ask the patient."

Three minutes later the ambulance pulled away with two foxes on board, leaving behind a very anxious rabbit.

 _Now what am I going to do?_

* * *

There was no avoiding the wave of frantic questions that came her way as soon as she returned to the party.

"Where's Santa?!"

"Is Mrs. Claws okay?!"

"What about the rest of the presents?"

"Shut up about the presents, stupid!"

"Don't call me names!"

It was all Judy and Mr. Prongsly together could do to restore order. Judy, climbing onto the elk's shoulder with a quick 'by your leave,' held up her paws for attention.

"Uh, Mr. Claws had to go back to the North Pole with Mrs. Claws," she explained. "They have a hospital there, but I'm sure they'll call us as soon as everything checks out with Mrs. Claws – which it will." She was rambling, and she knew it. "Now I know you all wanted to talk to Santa. I'm sorry, believe me. Things like this just… just…"

It was all too much. The chaotic party, Nick's caffeine catastrophe, Vanya's shenanigans, and now… she was about ready to crack like an egg.

Before she could start crying, though, something else happened; the last thing anyone could have imagined… except Vanya.

 **Oh, Christmas cookies. Will Vanya ever stop? And what can she possibly do to make things worse?!**

 **Feels like forever since I updated this. My main job is ending in less than a month, which may or may not mean more days when I can write freely (for some reason I feel like I say that whenever my employment hits a seasonal shift). At any rate, I will probably not spend as much time with Wi-Fi access, meaning less time online but more to share when I do get online.**

 **Anyway, happy reading! Don't forget to Follow, Fave, and Review!**


	9. Nine: All Ends Well - or Does It?

Well, this story has stretched out a LOT longer than I had planned. You all can thank Pandora from Archive of Our Own (and another friend over Discord whose literary name/names I do not know) for convincing me to finish up this next chapter. Not to worry; I'm still working on _Something Stinks_. Hopefully, though, I can get this one wrapped up before it's time for Christmas in July! lol Happy Reading!

 **"Everyone from poor raggedy shepherds to rich and powerful kings... to conniving thieves (can experience Christmas)."**

 **Mrs. Martin, _'Twas the Fight Before Christmas_**

Once when Judy was a very young doe, she had seen a cartoon about spiders – and one in particular which dangled over its prey and then sprang on them with an outstretched web like a fishermammal casting a net. With Nick and Taelia gone, the party felt like such an arachnid, giant-sized, was hanging over the whole proceeding.

It was the last place in the world one would have expected to hear music… but there it was.

 _Tikhaya noch' svyataya noch'_

 _Vse spokoyno, vse svetlo_

 _Vokrug etoy devstvennoy materi i rebenka_

 _Svyatoy mladenets takoy nezhnyy i myagkiy_

 _Son v Nebesnom mire_

 _Son v Nebesnom mire_

The words were strange, but the melody was unquestionably 'Silent Night.' _But who would be singing at a time like this?_ everyone wondered.

One by one, heads turned toward the source of the sound. When the singer became clear, Judy's jaw dropped.

 _Vanya?!_

It was Vanya indeed, head tilted downward as if to draw the notes up from deep in her body. Her singing voice sounded – to Judy's rather jaded ears, at least – more accustomed to singing sultry tunes in night clubs and seedy bars than Christmas carols at a benefit party. Yet for all that, there was a curious and haunting beauty to it as she trolled out the familiar melody of 'Silent Night' in a language Judy had never heard.

The vixen paused, looked around, and spread her paws in a show of mild irritation. "Well, why the staring?" she asked. "You think Jolly Old Saint Nick would want to leave us like this?" Then, unabated, she continued her song.

 _Tikhaya noch' svyataya noch'_

 _Pastukhi drozhat pri vide_

 _Slava, tekushchaya s Neba izdaleka_

 _Nebesnyye khozyayeva poyut Alliluyya_

 _Khristos Spasitel' rodilsya_

 _Khristos Spasitel' rodilsya_

As she sang on, one or two voices joined in singing in English. Then came more, and more. Violet's voice could be heard in the medley, and Jordy's too. No one was more surprised than Judy, however, when she found herself singing the familiar tune.

 _Tikhaya noch' svyataya noch'_

 _Syn Bozhiy, chistyy svet lyubvi_

 _luchistyye luchi ot tvoyego svyatogo litsa_

 _S rassvetom iskupitel'noy blagodati_

 _Iisus, Gospod' pri tvoyem rozhdenii,_

 _Iisus, Gospod' pri tvoyem rozhdenii_

After 'Silent Night,' they segued into, 'Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,' and then 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas.' It wouldn't be just to say that everyone felt fine... but it wouldn't be fair to say no one felt better.

After a few more carols, Vanya – who had slipped into the crowd during the singing – appeared at the Bingo table. "Well," she called in a voice which would have made a _lot_ more sense coming from almost anyone else under the circumstances, "anyone up for games?"

The whole thing was more than the rabbit officer could take in. _I need to go sit down,_ she thought.

* * *

For the rest of the party, Vanya's strange behavior continued. She wasn't exactly as tender as the Ghost of Christmas Past, nor as jolly as the Ghost of Christmas Present. Still, she seemed at least to be trying to do an impression of Taelia instead of her own usual snide, cynical demeanor. Judy would have traded her right ear to know what was going on, torn as she found herself between hoping that the Christmas spirit had finally taken hold of her old foe and fearing that this was just preparation for some sudden but inevitable betrayal.

Vanya, however, seemed determined to keep her in the dark. Every time Judy tried to get her aside for a minute to talk, the vixen pointed out that they had a party to manage. When that failed – that is, when Judy _almost_ managed to catch her unoccupied – she seemed almost to melt away and slip off somewhere before the doe could get to her. Indeed, with her performance that night it was a wonder that she'd ever been successfully arrested.

Oddly enough, the rest of the "What do you want for Christmas" part ran much more smoothly, with Judy, Mr. Prongsy, and even Vanya dividing up the remaining youngsters. Judy kept glancing at Vanya, and even as her suspicions of a trick ebbed, her curiosity and confusion threw her mind around like so much laundry in a dryer. Even with the weight of the smaller kits hopping into her lap, she had to pinch herself or bite her lip now and then to convince herself this was all real. _What in the world is going on here?_

Towards the end, the vixen did something which really surprised the bunny. "I'd like to say something," she called out when, to the untrained observer, it seemed as though she had ended up near Judy by chance. Once she had everyone's attention, she went on. "Earlier, I made a few remarks here and there to watch Mrs. Claws do a magic trick. I was joking; just a little bit of fun. However, I'm sorry I did it in light of all that's happened." She turned to Judy and gave a sad smile. " _Carrots,_ since you're running the show at this point, will you tell Mrs. Claws I'm sorry when you see her?"

Judy was somewhat at a loss. It definitely wasn't Vanya's style to confess without so much as an accusation, and it was hard to tell whether she was actually sorry or just covering her tracks. About the only thing that made any sense was the slight emphasis on Judy's nickname; Vanya was clearly milking _that_ opportunity for her own enjoyment.

 _So it's not a sudden case of Christmas Spirit,_ Judy reflected. _Not a total one, anyway._ '

Lacking anything close to a conclusive theory, she decided to roll with it and just nod. "I'll give her the message," she promised. Then, hissing under her breath, she added, "But would you mind telling me why-?"

Vanya whipped her head around at some alleged crisis across the room by the snack tables. "Excuse me, Carrots. Hey, kid! No double-dipping! Grab a sample cup for that!"

 _Hmph,_ fumed the rabbit. _Maybe she's just doing this to drive me crazy._

At that moment, Judy's phone buzzed in her pocket. "Oh, that must be Ni- uh, _Saint_ Nick," she said, fumbling with her words even as she fumbled for the phone. "Let's see, let's see- there!" She managed to pull the phone out and smack the "Accept" icon before the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, Carrots," Nick reported in a low voice with a kind of draggy feeling to it.

 _Uh-oh,_ thought Judy. _Does that tone mean he's just tired from the post-coffee crash, or…?_

"Boss!" she blurted, remembering that she had to be in character. "What's the news?" _Please be good news. Please be good news._

"Well, the doctors had to put a camera down Mrs. Claws' throat to be on the safe side…"

Judy winced, glad that she hadn't put the call on speakerphone. She knew how much fun it wasn't to be checked out with a gastroscope. "Give it to me straight, Santa," she pleaded. "What's the verdict?"

Nick's voice was glum and weary. "Well…" Then he brightened into a tired-yet-satisfied tone. "It looks like everything is just fine."

At those words, the bunny felt ready to collapse. _She's okay,_ she thought. Then the words erupted from her mouth. "She's okay!"

Nick's next words were drowned out in the loud cheering that filled the party.

"Wait! Wait! Quiet everyone!" Judy called, waving her free paw. "What was that again?" she asked once the noise subsided.

"I said we'll be taking a cab back to your folks' house, so I guess we'll see you there. Hope you don't mind grabbing our things before you leave."

Judy assured him that it would be no problem on her end, and wished him and Taelia a merry Christmas before ending the call.

* * *

As the party finally broke up, everyone was at last in high spirits – or almost everyone. As she and her siblings tried to direct traffic through the coat room, Judy detected a slight tumult involving a pair of rabbit parents and two girl kits who obviously did not want to part ways for the night.

"I want her to come home with us!" cried one, her markings clearly matching her up with the parents. The other, slightly smaller and locked in a hug with her, had a not-quite-daring-to-hope look in her eyes as she avoided directly meeting her friend's family's gaze.

The father was obviously trying to pry his daughter away. "Sweetheart, she has to go back to the orphanage now. This isn't like taking in a lizard off the street."

"Actually," Judy interrupted, breaking in on the tender scene, "There's an elk over there who can help. If you want to, I'm sure he'd be glad to help you out with the adoption – or at least bringing..." she tried to get a look at the other's nametag, but it was hidden from view. "What's your name?" she asked, crouching to look the bunny in the eye.

"Alice," said the bunny.

"Bringing Alice to spend Christmas with you," Judy finished.

The father looked uncertain. The mother looked relieved. Their daughter looked ecstatic. "Could we?!" she cried.

Judy nodded. "Come on. We'd better ask him; he has to go now – and you'll need some time to pack if you're going to go somewhere," she added to the orphan.

Alice looked hopeful, albeit with the kind of hope of one who had seen her share of potential foster homes. "Okay," she relented.

While this was going on, Vanya had almost managed to slip out the door with the departing kids. The elk, however, was just stopping her when Judy came up and the kits poured out their story.

"Oh yes," the elk agreed, sticking out a foot to hinder Vanya from leaving. "Alice – and her brothers and sister, if you're willing – are up for visits or adoption." He fished in his pocket and drew out a card. "Call me tonight or swing by tomorrow, and we'll see if we can work something out."

The kits squealed with delight and hugged one another until Judy gently separated them.

"We'll come tomorrow," promised the father. "Rain or sleet or snow; we'll at least stop by to visit."

Alice smiled, then slipped off to join the others from her group.

"Well, I think I'll be going," Vanya offered.

"Hold on a minute, Vanya," the elk ordered, and then bade the family depart. The daughter ran off to find her brothers and sisters, eager to tell them of the next day's outing.

Vanya looked up at her supervisor calmly, indifferent to whatever he might be about to tell her.

"You did a good job tonight," he said sincerely. "I had my doubts about even bringing you, but I'm glad I did."

The vixen waved a paw. "Oh, I'm sure it was just a flash in the pan," she answered cavalierly.

Judy frowned to hide a skeptical smile. "Really?" she asked. "Why's that?"

There was a smile in Vanya's eyes – the kind that usually hid a chuckle. "Oh, you two wouldn't understand it – but, since you must have an explanation, the truth is that I lost my motivation." Enjoying the confusion on Judy's face, she went on, "There's not much pleasure in making someone miserable when you just get upstaged by Lady Luck. It takes away all the satisfaction and gloating. Being helpful isn't my usual way, but it was better than nothing."

Judy frowned at this – genuinely this time – and glanced up at the elk. He sighed wearily and shrugged, but winked at Judy. The message was pretty clear: as usual, Vanya wasn't telling the whole truth.

Judy decided to play on the deception. "Well, do us all a favor: let your nice side show more often."

Vanya laughed. "Why on earth would I want to do that?" she asked derisively.

"Oh, I don't know," said Judy, sticking out a paw. "I just think it's nice to be able to part as friends for once."

The vixen snorted and rolled her eyes, but she shook the paw. "They do say you go easier on your friends," she observed.

Judy huffed and folded her arms. "That's blackmail," she accused.

Vanya chuckled and turned toward the bus. "That's right. Merry Christmas."

It seemed as though the exchange was over, but boarding the bus Vanya found herself plagued by a strange hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked out the window several times as her supervisor did the head count. Oddly enough, Judy was still standing out there, scrunching her face as if trying to figure out what kind of footing this put them on. If Nick had been out there she would have winked at him; maybe blown him a kiss just to annoy him.

Then she knew what was eating her, and she climbed up a little higher. Tugging at the window latches, she slid it don far enough to stick her muzzle out.

"Carrots," she called. "Just out of curiosity, what does he see in her?"

Judy stared up at her, her confusion renewed. "What?"

"Taelia," Vanya clarified, growing annoyed. If she had spent an evening playing nice, she might as well get some information out of it. "What's she got that I haven't? How did she catch Nick?"

Judy put a paw to her chin, deliberately drawing out her answer to make Vanya worry that the bus would leave too soon. At last she cupped her paws to her mouth. "I think it's that she respects him!"

The vixen rolled her eyes as the bus started to pull away. "Of course; the male ego."

Watching the bus leave and Vanya withdraw her head, Judy just shook her head. In a way, Vanya's bit of playing nice had worked. It was a cinch they'd cross paths again, probably on opposite sides, but next time... well, next time Judy might be a little gentler with the pawcuffs.

 **Vanya's actions here are, in part, a nod to the Christmas Truce in World War I, when the sound of German soldiers singing "Silent Night" ("Stille Nacht" in their tongue) led to a cease-fire, the exchange of gifts, and even a game of soccer/football. Unfortunately, this did not sit well with the opposing generals, and steps were taken (with only limited success) to avoid such incidents for the rest of the war. For my own version, I chose to put Vanya's singing in Russian rather than German because that seemed more natural with her being an Arctic fox. It helped that the German lyrics are much easier to get ahold of, and that I supposed other people might be interested in the Russian version too; 'Silent Night,' in my opinion, sounds great in any language. On a side note, if you want to hear some** ** _really_** **beautiful music, look up "Celtic Women Stille Nacht" on YouTube. You may want to bring Kleenex.**

 **There's a reference here to** ** _'Twas the Fight Before Christmas,_** **the Christmas episode of** ** _The Adventures of McGee and Me_ which I quoted at the start of the chapter** **. I won't treat it as an Easter Egg because it's so obscure, but the exchange between Judy and Vanya about "blackmail" is an echo of a couple of remarks swapped between an art teacher and a school bully. If you haven't seen it or any of the other episodes of** ** _McGee and Me,_** **I highly recommend them. I actually think** ** _'Twas the Fight Before Christmas_** **is the best Christmas special of all time, surpassing even** ** _It's Christmastime Charlie Brown._** **Yeah, you read that right.**

 **So, it looks as if this little Christmas Catastrophe ended pretty nicely for everyone… but then, looks** ** _can_** **be deceiving. There's still one mess to untangle; the one, in fact, which gave me the whole idea for this story. Anybody want to guess what it is?**

 **Speaking of guessing games, I don't know if I want to count this as an Eastr Egg - but does the cartoon referenced in the first paragraph ring any bells?**


	10. Ten: Stuck on You

Quick answer to a Guest review on the previous chapter: CinBB was short for Christmas in Bunnyburrow. I changed the story description to make room for the extra letters. Sorry for the confusion.

 **Eustace:** **"** **Then forget about last term if you can. I was a little tick then."**

 **Jill:** **"** **Well, honestly, you were."**

 **The Silver Chair** **by C.S. Lewis (Focus on the Family radio theater version)**

One would think that an ordeal like they'd been through would have made it easy enough for two vulpines to nod off. If that wasn't enough, the soft hum and the occasional turns of the cab, like the rocking of a cradle, should have clinched it too.

Yet for some reason, Nick seemed trapped in a kind of zombie-like wakefulness. His efforts at conversation pretty much died at "How's your throat" from him and "fine" from her. As for Taelia, she was awake enough and her throat really was starting to feel better. The doctors had given her something to take the edge off the rawness. Unfortunately, she really didn't feel like talking.

 _Some Christmas this turned out to be,_ she thought. Granted it wasn't _actually_ Christmas yet, or even Christmas Eve, but it sure felt like it – which, normally, would have been a great thing.

"Sorry I made such a mess of things," she offered weakly.

Something flickered in Nick's glassy gaze, and he turned his head to look at her. "Say what now?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Nick, I hated seeing Vanya chase after you because… well, I guess I got possessive – and I never liked her much. I was in a hurry, and that's why I choked."

Nick forced his brain into a somewhat higher state of alertness and managed to answer that. "Well, I guess if I were in your situation I'd have been pretty jealous too. It's not your fault."

That brought a smile to her face. "Thanks."

He laid a paw on hers then. "Listen, I'm not going to just dump you for some other female – especially not some unhinged ex-girlfriend who just shows up out of the blue doing community service. Even if I did have doubts about us, I'd at least tell you before I went and broke up."

She nodded. She did know that. She wouldn't be dating Nick for going on two years without knowing that she could trust him. Yet there was one nagging question, brought near surface either by his mention of 'if he had doubts' or by her own uneasy feeling that in distrusting him she had somehow let him down. Whatever it was, she couldn't quite place it.

"By the way, any thoughts about New Year's? I've got an invite from a friend if you're not supplying music for a party or…"

Oh, yeah. There was the uncertainty, lingering like a shark beneath the waves. There was her quiet, nagging doubt.

It must have showed something in the tilt of her ears, for Nick stopped. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She shrugged wearily. "Well, I was just remembering last New Year's."

"Well, you'll have to fill me in," he admitted. "I never could remember those parties."

Taelia gave him her, 'Don't mess around, please. I just remembered something painful' look. "Midnight," she prompted. "When the ball dropped, and..."

He stopped, and though his face registered no reaction other than a slight downward flicker of his ears and a tiny twitch of his pupils, inside his heart temperature dropped a few degrees. Technically, his comment to Judy about 'nothing for the Kiss Cam' had been slightly misleading. He and Taelia _had_ kissed… once. He remembered the party, the countdown, and the unspoken dialogue between them that they didn't want to be the only couple in the room not smooching.

"Yeah, I remember," he admitted. That had been the most awkward kiss of his life, and the truth was he'd had some doozies. "Listen, I'm sorry about that. If I'd known you weren't ready…"

She lifted a paw to stop him. "It's okay," she said at last. "And the truth is, I'm sorry too. I didn't want to talk about it then because… well, there was this guy I used to know who, um… who tried to talk me into stuff I wasn't ready for too."

Nick's brain blanked for a moment. _What exactly are we getting at here?_ he wondered, not sure he wanted to know.

Taelia must have guessed what he was thinking, because with some uncertainty she added, "He was trying to set me up, if you know what I mean. I ended up bailing out of a window."

The thought of being in the same camp as someone like that… well, even in his criminal days it would have made Nick feel ill. "Listen," he said softly. "I hope you know I'd never do anything like that. Well, not on purpose anyway."

"I know. I just kind of worried that… well, that maybe you blamed yourself. It's not your fault, though. If he hadn't tried to do what he did then, maybe I'd have been ready for it at the party."

It seemed somehow as if they were totally alone in the car – partly because of the emotional exposure, and partly because she had capped off reading his mind with reading him totally wrong. "To be honest, I kind of forgot all about that."

She sighed. "Oh. Well, that's awkward." She looked away for a moment, then seemed to recover. "But maybe we needed some awkwardness, if only to break through it. At least now you know."

Strange as it was, he was kind of glad that she'd told him – in a kind of nauseating 'I may throw up' kind of way. Looking back on it now, there had been moments where he wondered why she was so skittish. Now he knew.

The nausea must have shown, for she reached up and held a paw to his face, turning his head to look her in the eyes. "I trust you, you know," she added. "And I'm glad I can say that, because to be honest I'm getting tired of spinning my wheels."

 _Uh-oh,_ thought Nick. The last time he'd heard the phrase 'tired of spinning my wheels' from a female, things had gotten tricky – _fast._ "Uh, Taelia, don't take this the wrong way-"

"Stop it. I'm not going to ask you to marry me." Averting her gaze, she added quietly, "I'm still not ready for that. But I want this thing to move forward. I don't want to go back."

He wasn't sure what she meant about going back, but he took a deep breath and nodded. "So, are you asking for a kiss?"

A timid smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Maybe. Probably will be by New Year's."

Nick tried not to let on to himself that he'd been hoping for something more immediate – but what was another week or two? "I'll be ready," he offered brightly.

The cab driver – a deer – paused at an intersection and threw them a wink over his shoulder. "Hey, uh, listen," he called. "I know it's none of my business, but cab rides can be plenty romantic. If you two want to get some practice, I won't say a thing."

Feeling the peculiar mix of awkwardness and excitement that comes with romance, Nick looked at Taelia. She looked at him. They both took a deep breath and let it out.

"Well…" she admitted, "I _did_ say I was tired of spinning my wheels."

He took her gently by the paw. "I won't complain if you say no," he promised.

She smiled, then leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. It was a brief kiss, and a very chaste one; much less intense than their flub at the New Year's party had been when neither of them wanted to admit it wasn't working.

This time, however, it was _real._ When they drew back, their eyes locked as each of them wondered whether they had done it right. For Nick, romancing was almost an art form, with all the self-drive that came of being an artist. Real romance, though, was still tricky territory. For Taelia, there was a quiet, nagging doubt whether she was really the vixen he wanted; whether she'd ever really be the vixen he wanted.

Then, somehow, all that doubt and pressure seemed to fade.

"Not bad," she admitted.

"Yeah; yeah, that was good," he allowed. His grin broadened. "Care to try again?"

She leaned forward, but he put up a paw to block her lips. "Just one thing," he added quickly, looking her in the eyes. "I know you aim to please, so just… let me know if I'm doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, alright?"

"Hey, hey," interrupted the cabby. "Keep it PG back there, alright?"

Taelia almost died of embarrassment then and there, but caught that it was a joke. She returned Nick's look. "I can manage that," she promised, sliding her paws up to his shoulders.

His smile broadened, and he slipped his paws toward her waist. She scooched closer and slid a paw up to the back of his head, then paused.

"Guess it's your turn," she whispered, "since I kissed you first."

The next few minutes would forever be a blur in their memories; a blur of paws stroking sides and touseling fur, tails brushing, and of course the obvious.

 _I wonder what makes this so different?_ Nick couldn't help wondering. He'd kissed more intensely than this before, but somehow this time seemed to wake him up like nothing else ever had. His last time with Taelia, conversely, had been way tamer, but this one didn't seem to bother her the least bit like the last one had.

He supposed the only real game-changer that could be the answer was honesty; the fact that this time came on the heels of admitting their flaws, plain and simple.

 _Maybe one of these days,_ he mused, _I'll make an honest vixen out of her._

* * *

Both of the vulpines took a minute or two before leaving the cab to make sure they looked as they had when they started out. Taelia wasn't sure there was much point in trying to cover up what they'd been doing. Truth was, she felt like singing. Nick, however, was thinking of something else.

"If Carrots knew, she'd never get off our cases," he pointed out, sagging from the caffeine crash and the after-effects of the make-out. "And as fun as it would be to crack jokes about her being jealous, right now I just don't have the energy."

Taelia laughed. "Okay," she relented, mussing the fur between his ears. "Our little secret."

"I won't say nothing," volunteered the driver.

Nick paid the buck and they disembarked. They had only gotten halfway to the door when it opened to reveal Bonnie's silhouette, clasping her paws once she saw them both in one piece.

"Oh, thank Heaven. Judy will be so glad you made it back. She's been worried sick!" She rushed over to help, seeing that the two of them were leaning on each other. "Are you alright?" she added, sounding anxious.

"Yes, we're fine," answered Taelia, doing her best to help Nick along. Even though she had been the one to suffer a medical crisis that day, she somehow seemed be be mustering more energy than he could. She gestured to him with her head and explained, "He's just got jet lag from the North Pole."

"Yeah, we're fine," Nick promised. He was just about at the very bottom of his caffeine crash, and the excitement in the car had stripped away most of what little gusto he had left. He yawned prodigiously as Bonnie took his arm opposite Taelia. "Just tired. Really really tired."

Bonnie escorted them in, then closed the door and – curiously enough – plucked a tissue from a box by the table. She held it up to Nick. "Here," she offered discreetly. "You've got lipstick in your fur."

Nick blinked a little at that as his weary brain found a few traces of energy. "Thanks." He wiped his face, almost in a trance.

Taelia, meanwhile, blinked in confusion. "How could he have lipstick in his fur?" she asked. "I wasn't wearing any."

"Ha!" cried a triumphant voice as Judy thrust her grinning face around the corner. "I knew it!"

Although Nick was usually the one on the receiving end of Judy's hustles, it only took Taelia a moment to catch on. "You have no proof," she objected, folding her arms.

 _Cue the carrot pen,_ thought Nick.

No recorder appeared, however. Judy just strolled up to them and playfully punched Nick on the arm. "Way to go, Slick Nick," she teased. Then to both of them, she winked and added, "And don't worry. I won't tell your parents what you've been up to."

Nick groaned, but kept his mouth shut. Even as tired as he was – dog tired, as they say – he was wise enough _not_ to mention how much he'd appreciate that silence. It so happened that his Mom… well, may have been asking about grandkits.

Bonnie clearly saw the pair's sagging posture. "Come on," she said. "Let's get that silly beard off you two so you can get some sleep."

"Yeah," Judy agreed. "Taelia, do you have that solvent?"

"Right here," answered Taelia, full of fatigue. She shuffled in her purse and pulled out the small bottle. "I just need some water and a bottle with a squirt top."

Judy took the bottle from her paw. "I'll get it," she volunteered. You two take a seat. You look exhausted."

Bonnie busied herself serving them some of her punch while Judy mixed the solution as prescribed and carefully squirted it into the narrow space between the fake beard and Nick's real fuzz. "Gotta admit, I'm going to miss seeing this look on you," she teased.

Nick rolled his eyes and glanced at Taelia, who smiled and slid her paw under his. "Well, since you caught us about what we did on the ride," she remarked, "you might as well know the beard gets in the way of…"

"Ugh, spare me the details," Judy complained with an exaggerated air of mock disgust. Smiling in a 'Junior Detective's finally growing up' kind of way (despite Nick's being about half again her age), she looked at the clock. "Alright," she said, reaching for the beard. "Hold still while I get this thing off."

Oddly enough, the beard did not come away. Judy frowned, glancing at the bottle of solvent on the table. "Taelia, did you give me the wrong bottle?"

Taelia fished in her purse. "I don't think so. The glue bottle's right here and I-" She stopped, staring at the bottle in her paw like it had turned into a rattlesnake. "Oh, no," she whispered.

Nick looked ill. "What does 'Oh no' mean? It's too late at night for 'Oh no.'"

Taelia looked at him with ears down, eyes almost tearfully wide, and a curve to her mouth as if she had just shot him by accident. She mutely held up the bottle for them to see the label.

 _All-Purpose Extra-Strength Household Glue._

"Aw, no."

The beard made a handy cushion when Nick's chin met the table.

"Why me?"

 **Aw, no. For those who missed it, the solvent is useless. If they can't think of something, Nick's going to be stuck with that beard for a long, long time. Now what?!**

 **Shout-out to a Guest reviewer on Something Stinks who wanted to see some more chemistry between Nick and Taelia. I've been hinting here and there at Taelia's less-than-ideal romantic past, so I guess you could call this something of a reveal. Here's hoping that, now that Nick's helped her recover, she can find some way to bail him out.**

 **Thanks for reading! Keep those faves and reviews coming, and stay tuned for the solution.**


	11. Eleven: The Train Ride Home

**Well, at long last Santa Clawed is back in action! My apologies to everyone for the drawn-out wait (though, come to think of it, only one reader ever complained about Something Stinks taking longer than I planned and he's not in the reckoning anyway), but at long last we're back in the candy cane game. I really appreciated everyone's feedback up to this point, and I'm glad you enjoyed Nick and Taelia's antics in the last chapter because this one's got some more foxy fluff. Happy reading!**

After a few rounds of Nick smacking his forehead on the table and several minutes all told of profuse apologies from Taelia, the four of them came up with a plan. The only way to get the fake beard off of Nick by this point was a shave. Nick, reawakened a little by panic and despair, did _not_ like that idea at all. Taelia reassured him, though, that she had just the thing back at her apartment in the city.

"Industrial grade fur and hair tonic," she explained. "If it's good enough for Gazelle's locks, it should work for this."

Nick cringed, picturing a silky golden tassel dangling from his chin. "I'm not sure that's the look I want."

She shook her head. "No, no, it'll be fine. It's all a question of formula strength and how long you leave it on. I've worked with a dozen musicians who use it, and it's done wonders for my tail." She pivoted slightly and swung out the appendage in question to show them.

"Uh… nice," said Nick, somewhat unsure.

Taelia frowned in apparent disappointment. "You mean you never noticed?" she asked irritably.

He bit his lip. "I thought you didn't want me looking at that area."

Judy couldn't help snickering at the look on Taelia's face. "This is going to be a lot funnier later on," she pointed out.

The foxes gave him a look which somehow managed to be more fatigued than even Nick felt at the moment. He said what they were all thinking: "Could you…" he paused to yawn. "… keep out of this, please?"

She shrank a little, clasping her paws behind her back. "Sorry. But hey, we've all had a long day, right? Why don't you get some shut-eye and then catch a train back to the city in the morning?"

Nick blinked drowsily, pleased at the idea of sleep. Taelia put the kibosh on tumbling off to bed, however.

"We're due at my parents' place over in Pine Forest tomorrow afternoon," she objected. "That means we'll need to get back to my place, get the fur tonic on him, give it time to work, wash it off, get him presentable, and then get over there. We'll have to sleep on the train."

Bonnie turned towards a table by the door, slid a drawer out, and withdrew a train schedule. "Oh my goodness gracious, you two need to hurry. It's only an hour until the last train leaves."

* * *

By the time they got to the train station, Nick's energy was so shot that Judy and Taelia almost had to borrow a hand truck to wheel him onto the train. They got more than a few strange looks, but they and a hare who had been taking tickets managed to half-walk, half-carry him aboard.

"I'm really…" yawn "… really sorry about…" another yawn "… this…" Nick managed to murmur, barely keeping his eyes open and his feet moving. "I just…"

Judy patted him on the back. "You were great, Nick. I can't think of anyone I'd rather see play Santa than you."

Nick was too tired to answer, but both the females knew if he were lucid he would say that was just her sadistic streak talking.

It took some doing to lift Nick onto a seat, where he could almost be said to have been asleep before he lay down.

"Whoo," said Judy, pushing her paws against the small of her back. "I'd forgotten how much he weighed."

Taelia smiled gratefully. "Thanks for the help, Judy," she answered. "You too, sir," she added to the hare, who saluted and departed with a quick reminder to Judy that the train would be leaving soon.

Judy shrugged helplessly as the hare departed. "I'm just sorry the evening turned out so badly. It wasn't fair to you guys, and at the last minute…"

The vixen raised a paw. "It made the kids happy. That's all that matters." She didn't really feel that way at the moment, but she knew she would once she'd had a decent sleep and gotten Nick back to his old handsome look.

 _Although the beard is a pretty nice look for him,_ she mused thoughtfully.

It promised to be a long train ride back to Zootopia, leaving Taelia plenty of time to reflect. She was starting to feel tired, but in a listless, sleepless, kid-on-Christmas-night kind of way. To make it worse, she soon learned that something she had once guessed about Nick on a shot in the dark was true. He snored.

 _At least it's kind of a cute snore,_ she consoled herself, gently laying him down on the seat. There were few passengers on so late, so they had the car mostly to themselves. Better still, it seemed none of the other riders were inclined to make any overtures save for some strange looks.

At least she thought so until a small voice piped up by her feet.

"Izzat Santy Clawrs?"

Taelia looked down to see a mole – not even half-grown by the size of him – staring up at Nick. The mole wore a red shirt with narrow black stripes running across it, and his hair stuck every which-way with all the discipline of a patch of nettles.

 _Maybe we should have shaved the beard off at Judy's,_ she thought. "Uh, yes, but-"

"Gurd. Oi be passm over evvery year, and Oi wantsa talk wiv 'im."

Taelia stifled a groan. "He's very tired right now, but…" she hesitated. _The things I do for love,_ she thought. "...why don't you talk to me? I'm Mrs. Claws."

"Urkay." The mole clambered up the leg of her sweatpants – rather a breach of manners, she thought – and took a spot on her right knee. "Oi'm nevvur get wot Oi askn furr."

"What do you askn – I mean ask for?" she asked. She'd met moles with the same accent this one used, but she could never remember the name of their home country. This one's wasn't as thick, suggesting that he was probably the first generation of his family born in Amareca.

She soon figured out why the youngster never got what he wanted. For one thing, his wish list was voluminous in length. For another, the items were mostly illegal for someone his age – and probably for any private citizen – to own. By the time he had listed off almost every weapon from "Attum bum" to "gurnade lunchurr," (which she was pretty sure meant atom bomb and grenade launcher, respectively), she was just about ready to call the DCF.

"You really shouldn't talk to strangers," said a voice.

Both of them looked up to see a little male raccoon in a blue coat and red mittens standing in front of Taelia's seat. He looked to be no more than ten years old.

"It's never a good idea to just walk up to grown-ups you don't know," he went on, looking directly at the mole. "They might be crazy and you'd have no idea until it was too late."

"Mindee own busynezz, tarshsniffler," the mole argued, sticking out his tongue at the raccoon.

"That's Troutsniffer," corrected the raccoon, completely unperturbed. "I knew a kid once who used to talk to strangers. One day he talked to a lady dressed as Mrs. Claws, and nobody's seen him since."

The mole scowled, but cast a wary look at Taelia. "You'm be tellin' fibburs in fronta Missy Clawrs," he accused, pointing one digging claw at the raccoon. "You'm be gitting lotsa coal thisyrr, hrr hrr. Missy Clawrs, you no'm dissupyrr likkle uns, do ee?"

As desperate as she was for a reprieve – and as doubtful as she was of the young mole's sanity anyway – Taelia suspected that playing a serial killer would not be the best way to end her day. With a 'thanks for trying' look to the raccoon, she focused her attention on the mole. "No, but I _do_ put them on the naughty list for talking to strangers without their parents' permission _and_ for running off on their parents."

"Oi norrun orff."

At that moment a garbled cry came from the next car. It was indecipherable, but it sounded a lot like the little mole's speech – only less like English.

"Really?" asked the raccoon smugly.

"Moindee own busynezz," snapped the mole as he scrambled down off Taelia's lap. "Gorra runnerz. Boi Missy Clawrs, nn rumimburr the missoils!"

"There goes a great All-Amerecan twit," observed the young raccoon.

Taelia shot him a warning look, but shook her head as she watched the munchkin disappear. "His mother must have the hardest time," she uttered. "Thanks for trying to help, by the way, but if I went around scaring kids I'd have to turn in my North Pole discount card."

The raccoon snickered. "Don't mind him. He's an idiot."

Taelia raised an eyebrow. "Well, he was right about you lying in front of Mrs. Claws," she teased.

He shrugged. "I'm already on the naughty list – and I know you're not Mrs. Claws."

Hearing that was some relief to the vixen. "Thanks… I guess."

"But I know you also work for Santa, so could you do me one small favor?"

Inwardly, Taelia cringed. _What now?_ she wondered. _I'm tapped out._ "What's the favor?" she asked.

He shrugged in a weary sort of way, but spoke with directness uncommon for his age. "Well, my brother's in the army, and just before he left I kinda called him some bad names. So I want to apologize. But the army doesn't let him make many phone calls, and I'm never around when we hear from him. So I thought maybe if I'm not _too_ far on the list, maybe Santa could leave him a note? Just tell him Kevin's sorry – and I'll even promise never to ask for anything again."

Taelia almost laughed, remembering how when she was the same age she used to scramble over patching up squabbles with her brother. "I'll, um… I'll do my best – to make sure the real Santa gets the message, I mean."

"Thanks," said the kid. "I guess I'll leave you alone now before I get annoying."

"Oh, wait a minute," Taelia interrupted him. "Let's see, I think I still have- oh." She pulled out some mini candy canes, each in a little rectangular pouch… and each broken up in tiny little bits.

"Uh… candy cane?" she asked. "Take a couple, for the extra help with… you know." She waved in the direction the mole had run.

"Thanks," he said, accepting the treats. "These go really good in hot chocolate when they're crumbled up, you know."

Taelia smiled. "Oh, I'll have to remember that. Thanks again, um…"

"Kevin. Kevin Troutsniffer."

At this Taelia scrunched her face. "That was your actual name he called you?"

He shrugged. "You get used to it. I know him at school. We voted him most likely to be on the news."

This last remark gave Taelia a good laugh as Kevin bade her goodbye and went back to his own seat. When the laugh subsided, she looked down at Nick, who had shifted and was no longer snoring so noticeably.

 _How's it go?_ she thought to herself. _Man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done._ She shrugged, knowing that wasn't quite accurate. Nick, of all males, had a rough job and deserved some down time. If he and Judy were willing to sacrifice some of that to brighten some kids' Christmases, she was only too glad to pitch in.

She stifled a yawn, raising a paw to her muzzle. _Well, right now it's time I_ turned _in,_ she thought. She unlocked her phone and skimmed her playlists. _Christmas One… no, too boisterous,_ she mused, though she felt tired enough to sleep through a rock concert. She only listened to Christmas Two when she was alone; kind of a guilty pleasure. Christmas Three didn't quite suit her mood. _Four it is,_ she thought, selecting it and tapping shuffle.

A quiet piano rendition of "Meowry Did You Know" chimed out from the phone, and she turned the volume down low and locked the device. Scooting out away from Nick, she lay down so their heads were close together. One of his arms was stretched out under his head, so she positioned herself with a paw slipped under his and her snout resting on his arm. As a last touch, she drew up her hood to muffle the ambient noise.

 _And Nick with his fluffing, and I with my wrap, were just settling down for a well-deserved nap._

* * *

They were both awakened by one of the staff on board the train, who informed them that they had arrived at Grand Central Station. Yawning prodigiously as they disembarked, they blinked in the city light made more garish than usual by added holiday displays. Even to experienced city mammals, it was a pretty shocking change after the relative tranquility out in the country.

The two foxes were only partially refreshed with their nap, and though Nick had slept more they both suspected he had the worst of it on the whole. He did his best to bear up, but he was still struggling with the aftereffects of all that caffeine.

"Ow," he groaned, pressing a paw against his forehead. "I dunno how I'm gonna make it home like this."

Taelia wasn't in much better shape, but her mind – as if to cheat her of the reprieve ahead – set itself to finding some answer to Nick's problem.

' _He could sleep on the couch,'_ part of her brain suggested. It was a practical enough solution, and many mammals wouldn't have thought twice about it. Of course, Taelia was not most mammals, and here her uncommon scrupulousness – a trait with some reason as had been seen – began to work against her.

' _My car's still at the apartment complex. I could give him a lift back to his place…'_ A yawn so wide it hurt her jaws showed the obvious drawback of this plan.

Somewhere in her weary thoughts, she foresaw and dreaded an internal argument. Sure enough, there were Little Miss Reserved and Little Miss Forward (aka Miss Introvert and Miss Extrovert) all set to hassle it out across what few brain cells she still had in working order. It was more than she could do to keep track of what they were saying in her weary state, but later she would be pretty sure she knew the general arguments. On the side arguing for letting Nick spend a night on the couch, there were the points that he'd been through enough already and shouldn't have to walk home, that neither he nor Taelia had the energy for mischief even if they wanted to, and that she knew very well she could trust him. On the side against these there was that he would understand and probably wouldn't think of asking after what she'd told him in the cab, and that with their brains as messed up as they were by lack of sleep she wasn't sure she even trusted herself. Both sides brought principle to bear, and finally it was all Taelia could do not to yell out loud for both of them to shut up.

"They really over-decorate this time of year," Nick remarked, breaking in on her thoughts.

She blinked. "Hm?"

He looked towards her as if taking his eyes off a distant sight. "All these Christmas decorations; all the noise and ruckus. Kind of ironic, huh?"

She raised an eyebrow, forgetting the debate team meeting inside her mind. "You have a problem with Christmas, Mr. Grizz?"

Nick smiled. He had seen the anxiety rising up through Taelia's features, and tired as he was he was pleased that his distraction seemed to be working. "Oh, I think it's okay, but where's the Silent Night in all this? Whatever happened to peace on Earth?"

Taelia found herself thinking back to the two kids on the train. She supposed some mammals did get lost in the chaos, noise, and of course all that wanting. If you got wrapped up in that it could get overwhelming; scary, even, when greed combined with the destructive impulses of a kid like the mole. Still, there were always a few mammals who kept looking for something better. Even if it was just sending an 'I'm sorry' overseas like the raccoon or singing 'Hark the Hairald Angels Sing' outside a coffee shop like the ones they were passing just at that moment, there were always…

 _Wait a minute._ An epiphany struck her like a thunderbolt, making her whirl around and almost giving her whiplash. She _knew_ those mammals singing the carol.

"Hey, hold up a sec," she instructed Nick, tugging his elbow. She ran – as best she could – towards the trio of singers. "Ellen! Nicole! Willy!"

Sure enough, Taelia's comrades were standing outside a Snarlbucks singing the familiar melody. Nicole and Ellen were part of her regular band _VIXEN,_ and Willy had been doing their stage and equipment management ever since he married Nicole. They all greeted the pair warmly and energetically.

"What are you two doing here?" asked Nicole, a red wolf. "I thought you were going to a party in Bunny Burrow."

"We were," Taelia admitted, energized a little at the sight of her friends. "Unfortunately, Nick got a little stuck in his role as Santa Claws and we had to come back to fix it."

Ellen stared, then began to giggle. "Oh no," she tittered. "Did you use the wrong glue?"

Nick looked at Taelia, wondering if this sort of thing had happened before.

"That's so classic!" the dingo went on, laughing and then digging in her pocket. "It's like something out of an old sitcom! Wait, wait, I've gotta get-"

Nicole reached out a paw and pinched her colleague's mouth shut, while Willy deftly plucked away the phone that she had just been pulling out. "Not a good idea," said Willy, a Meowxican coyote, throwing Nick a sympathetic look. "You guys need anything? Maybe some coffee?"

Nick looked ill, and Taelia raised her paws. "Uh, no thanks. Bad time for it. Maybe a lift over to my place?"

Ellen pricked up her ears and started to open her mouth, but Willy threw her a look that mutely said, 'Please don't.'

"Sure thing," Nicole promised. "We were just about to pack it in for the night anyway."

A vote of five-to-one settled that the Yotes (Nicole and Willy) would take the foxes while Ellen went her own way. The drive back was short and pleasant for the amount of traffic going on. Nick and Taelia mostly dozed in the back seat, though Taelia did her best to carry on polite conversation. After hearing about Taelia handing out kids to the sleigh bells and candy canes, though, Nicole gently suggested that her friend stop trying to talk and just relax

"You might want to take some cough drops or hard candy for your throat," she added kindly. "I'll stop by in a few days to take a look at it and see how it's coming along."

Taelia had to smile as she uttered a weary 'thank you.' As a Physician's Assistant at the hospital, the red wolf seemed to think of herself as constantly on call.

Willy smirked across the front at his wife. Taelia thought she heard him say something about Nicole 'needing to cut back on work.' Between the hum of the car and the turned-down Christmas music on the radio, though, she really wasn't sure of much except how tired she was.

* * *

Upon arriving at the apartment, Taelia went into the bathroom and retrieved the clippers. There at last, in total privacy, Nick allowed himself to be sheared. It was, as one might imagine, a dicey project.

"Ow," he complained, rubbing bare or good-as-bare skin. "Do I still have my whole face?"

Taelia dropped her ears apologetically. "I'm not exactly a leading expert on close shaves," she admitted. The closest she cut as a general rule was half an inch to make herself look slimmer in a dress. She picked up a bottle with a picture of a pale female donkey under the words 'Kate Braylow Mane Event' and proceeded to squirt some of the tonic into her paws. "This should take care of it, though it might sting a little."

Nick kept a straight face as she applied the stuff, trying not to sniff too noticeably. The stuff smelled like concentrate of onion which someone had tried – and failed – to sweeten with peach juice. "So what do I do once it's on?" he asked.

She studied him, doing her best not to think right then about how handsome he was – and what a good kisser he was, for that matter. _Not now, not now, not now…_ she told her tired brain, focusing with no small effort on his question.

"Leave it on for… oh, about two hours," she advised, calculating based on her own past use of the lotion. It would grow his fuzz out longer than they wanted, but hopefully give it the desired 'donkey's mane' thickness advertised on the bottle. "Then wash it out and we can trim it to length. Your whiskers will take a little longer to grow back, but we can't really do much about that."

Nick pawed at the liquid. "And that's it?" he asked.

"Couldn't be simpler," she promised. Her thoughts of what to do about Nick's lodgings for the night came back to mind. _I really shouldn't ask any more of him after what-_

He smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

She scrunched her face. "Come again?"

"I'll walk home from here. It's not that far."

Taelia didn't know what to think. After all her worrying about what to say or do, the whole problem just…

Nick caught the look on her face. "Something wrong?"

"Well, I was thinking about letting you sleep on the couch if you were too tired."

One of his eyebrows lifted. "Wow. We just made out two hours ago, and now you're-"

Taelia's brain recoiled from the implied joke. "Please don't," she implored. "Not now."

Nick laughed, stepped to her, and kissed her on the forehead. "Believe it or not, I like you this way. Goodnight."

Watching him return the way he had come, Taelia shook her head at his antics. She wasn't sure if he had played this game on purpose or not, though when she was a little more lucid she'd be guessing not. She didn't think he would do that to her after what she'd told him that night.

Maybe she did have a good idea of that, because there was a definite smile on her face as she dropped onto her bed still fully dressed. She wrapped her arms around her pillow and burrowed her face into it.

She was out like a light in under a minute.

* * *

Nick stepped into the night air and took a deep breath. Was he tired? Yes, yes he was. Still, he figured walking would keep him awake over the distance to his own apartment. He was busy setting an alarm for two hours ahead, as per Taelia's advice, when a quick tap on a car horn next to him made him jump.

"Hey," called Willy, rolling down his window, "you need a lift?"

Nick blinked. "You stuck around?"

The coyote jerked a thumb towards his wife. "Her idea. Figured you'd be in and out pretty quick this time of night."

Never one to turn down free transit, Nick gladly slipped in the back door and snapped himself into the seat, relating his address as he did.

"So," asked Nicole, "you have a good time?"

"Oh yeah," Nick agreed. "I mean, aside from the neurotic ex-girlfriend trying to steal me, Taelia's choking fit, and enough coffee to give an elephant the jitters… yeah, it was great."

Willy nodded. "Well, at least it turned out okay in the end, right?"

Nick thought about that, and all said and done he guessed the coyote had a point. The kids had been great, Judy and her sibs had been helpful, and he even got in some fun time alone with Taelia. He still felt a little bad about Taelia having to go to the hospital and the party having been disrupted, but it looked like even those had worked out alright with nobody really complaining. Well, nobody with the possible exception of Vanya. After a night like that, he figured he could let himself relax.

There was one small snafu, however, which would come back to bite him later.

* * *

" _Ow…"_

It was almost noon when Nick finally awoke, feeling like he'd been clobbered by a rhino. In his exhausted state, and with the unpleasant odor still lingering under his chin, his first thought was a flashback to the last time he'd spent a night drinking. After further consideration, he recalled the events of the party last night and revised his assessment. He'd never had a party _that_ nutty while under the influence.

 _Thank goodness I was sober for this one,_ he thought, though it occurred to him to wonder what the weird smell could be if he hadn't thrown up on himself. He scratched his chin thoughtfully… and froze dead still.

 _Aw, cripes._ He looked at the clock and felt ill. _The fur tonic._

Trying not to panic, he dashed to the bathroom, _It can't be that bad,_ he thought to himself with a rising sense of despair. _It can't be that bad. It can't be that bad. It can't-_

He saw himself in the mirror, froze, and sagged in dismay.

"When," he asked out loud, "am I going to stop thinking that it can't be that bad?"

A knock sounded at the door to his apartment.

"Nick, are you up yet?" called Taelia's voice. "I overslept! We're going to be late!"

 **Well, folks, all I can say is it's good to be back (and the party's obviously not over yet). I do have some regret about falling into such a long hiatus, but with everything else that's gone on this year I reckon it worked out for the best to take a break. Now we're back, and not that far from the finale of this haywire holiday – though of course there are still a few bugs to work out.**

 **I admit I had a particularly interesting time with Taelia's argument with herself. I'm partial to angel-versus-devil-type debates in general, and this one interested me especially because I'm honestly not sure what choice I would advise if I were posed such a question.**

 **I won't commit to a schedule this time, but stay tuned for more fox fumbling, vixen vexation, and hijinks back at the Hopps house (what, did you think Judy was out of the woods?). Happy reading!**

 **I plead guilty to stealing Amareca – a blending of mare and America – from WANMWAD.**

 **Easter Eggs:**

 **Three Calvin and Hobbes**

 **Two Home Alone**

 **And a Redwall in a pear tree**

 **Okay, bad joke, but I had to put that in there. Additionally this chapter has three references to** **Holes** **by Louis** **Sachar. Here's a hint pertaining to one of them; a female donkey is actually called a jenny, though I avoided using that term because an explanation in the chapter would have spoiled the flow.**


	12. Twelve: Yet Another Unexpected Twist

When Judy awoke (only an hour or two before her friends back in the city), breakfast was waiting for her under an overturned glass punch bowl obscured within by fog. _For the head elf,_ read a tongue-in-cheek paw-written note. _Heard you did good, Jude. Love, Dad._

Judy smiled at the gesture. _I love you too,_ she thought. Lifting the impromptu cover with both paws, she discovered some leftover vegetable crudite contrasted by chocolate chip carrot muffins still warm from the oven. Next to these were two small thermoses, one of which proved to be full of cold mixed vegetable juice while the other held hot coffee fixed just the way she liked. The repast – a rare privilege in a bedroom since her parents were insanely meticulous about keeping things clean – invigorated her wonderfully.

Halfway through her meal, she noticed a second note sticking out from under the plate. _Take your time with breakfast, but Alex has something to tell you when you're done. Love, Mom._

 _Wonder what that's about?_ she thought, but she did take her time eating and added a quick shower to her morning before going to visit her sickly brother.

"Knock knock," she called, rapping her knuckles on the wood.

"Nobody here but us peppers," came a nasal reply.

Judy laughed as she opened the door a crack. "Still all stuffed," she guessed. "Am I okay to come in?"

"Please."

Despite the sound of his voice, Alex was looking better. He had been situated with the kind of pillow that looks like the back of an arm chair, and if the look on his face was any clue he was probably on the mend – or at any rate, having one of his better days.

"Good to see you, sis. Heard you had quite the party."

She groaned. "Well, you might say that."

He nodded sympathetically. "Sorry I couldn't be there to help – and, uh, sorry I kind of made it worse."

At this last remark, Judy tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Never before had Alex Hopps looked so sheepish. "Well, I didn't know things were going to get crazy. I didn't realize they'd have a chaperon paying her debt to society, or that Nick would have _two_ girlfriends at the party, and I _really_ wasn't expecting one of them to go to the hospital… how is she, by the way?"

Judy was getting pret-ty antsy over Alex's rambling. The last time she'd seen him hem and haw like this had been a rather unfortunate incident involving a toy race car, a wastebasket of paper, and a fire extinguisher. "She's fine," she assured him, "but would you mind spitting it out before I have to Hamlich you too?"

He chuckled nervously. "Well, uh, please don't be mad at Violet for this, but uh… you didn't have to convince her about Nick."

"Convince her about Nick?" asked Judy. "What do you…? Oh."

Alex nodded, looking like maybe his illness was making a sudden comeback. "Yeah, she helped me out with my training, and one thing led to another, and we kinda _had_ to tell her Nick wasn't the real Santa. I told her to keep it a secret for a little extra fun, and…"

Judy sighed, letting her head slump. "I get the picture," she mumbled.

A long silence reigned before Alex spoke again. "Anyway, I'm really sorry if that made it harder to handle things. I promise, Violet didn't realize she should just break the silence. It's not her fault."

Under the circumstances Judy guessed that she did have some right to be annoyed. On the other paw, it really wasn't anyone's fault. Alex and Violet sure hadn't known there'd be so much stress and tension, and to be honest she'd kind of lost track of keeping her sister convinced anyway.

"It's okay," she said at last. "And thanks for telling me."

He shrugged. "I owed you that. But I hear the party went pretty well anyway."

"Yeah, except for the kids seeing Mrs. Claws go to the hospital."

At this a puzzled frown crossed Alex's face. "Uh, didn't you get the e-mail I sent you?"

"No, I try not to stay glued to cyberspace when I'm around here. Remember, family time?"

"Oh, right." Alex raised a paw to rub his forehead. "I guess being in bed has made me forget about that."

Hearing the account that followed, Judy could only stare in amazement… at least until she burst out laughing.

* * *

If there was one thing Nicholas P. Wilde knew how to handle, it was how to slip out of awkward situations.

"Can you tell them I came down with the flu?" he called.

Silence reigned from the far side of the door for a painfully long moment. "Did you forget to wash the tonic out?"

Nick bit his lip – with somewhat more difficulty than usual, given the present condition of his face. "Maybe."

How he could hear a paw over her eyes by the way she talked was a mystery, but somehow he did loud and clear. "Open the door and we'll sort this out."

"Only if you promise you won't laugh."

"I promise. Now open up. I'm texting Richard to tell him we'll be late."

In the short trip from the bathroom to the front door, Nick managed to regain a little of his composure. If he could handle irked polar bears, angry mob bosses, and a neurotic ex-girlfriend without panicking, he could get through a little embarrassment. On the other paw, he had to admit that looking like someone had electrocuted an orange porcupine and glued it to his face was a new low even in his crazy life.

"I'm sure it's nothing we can't…" Taelia said just as he was opening the door. Her whole expression seemed to stretch at the sight of him, with her eyes widening and her jaw dropping open in slow-motion. Then she closed her mouth and raised a paw to it. Her ears fell almost limp in dismay.

Nick raised a paw. "Before you say anything, yes; you told me so."

Taelia looked like she might throw up or cry. Thanks to the unhindered action of the tonic, the fur along his jawline and all the way back to his throat had grown thick and bushy. With a night's sleepy turning in place of careful brushing, shampooing, and conditioning, however, it looked nothing like her tail _or_ Gazelle's locks. The closest comparison she could think of was the time her brother had tried to give himself a Moohawk.

 _No, no,_ she thought, shoving the image away. This was a terrible time to burst out laughing. "Actually I was going to say I'm very, very sorry," she replied with utmost sincerity.

He shrugged, possibly because after all the chaos he'd been through his reactions had just gone into hibernation for a while. "Well, I was thinking of trying a new look."

Inside, Taelia couldn't help admiring Nick's chutzpah. It didn't make her feel much better, but she respected him for jumping up like this after a day like yesterday.

"Well, it's a good thing I brought my heavier-grade trimmer," she offered hopefully, fishing in her purse. "Go take a shower; quick. I'll let them know we're running behind – and don't forget to use shampoo."

He flashed an 'okay' sign. "You got it. Help yourself to some breakfast if you want."

As it happened Taelia was pretty hungry, having dashed over with hardly more than a granola bar. All the same, she didn't have much of an appetite and had to drum up the moxie to eat some dried crickets.

 _Come on, Taelia,_ she told herself. _Time for the bold face. Nick's face did overtime yesterday._

A shower and five minutes later, they were about a tenth of the way through the problem – and all the way into even deeper trouble.

"I thought you said it was heavy grade," Nick protested over the trimmer. It was jammed good and proper by a tuft of his facial fur, and despite both their best efforts it wouldn't run.

"Well, I said it was heavi _er_ grade," Taelia clarified. Under his helpless gaze, she further protested, "Okay, so I bought it at a yard sale. It was this or the one from Price Clopper."

Nick groaned. Now he not only had a beard straight off a Zorse god, but it had a dent in the side just large enough to be noticeable. "Maybe I should have just drawn fur on with an orange marker," he muttered sarcastically.

"Well, the good news is I know where to find some scissors that will do the trick. My dad used to cut pennies with them all the time."

"Your dad cut pennies with scissors." His tone was decidedly sarcastic, as if she had just told him her dad and brother used to put on palm leaf togas and go hunt brontosaurs as a clan ritual.

Taelia shrugged. "They'd cut pretty much anything but rocks. They can do this; I'm sure of it."

Nick supposed that would be his best hope. "And the bad news?"

Taelia's face took on an expression that looked like a grimace trying to pass as a smile. "They're kind of at my parents' house."

"Oh. Hallelujah." Nick weighed his options. He could either go for the scissors and look like a fool in front of the Fangaster family... or he could go back to the ZPD in a week looking like Rip Van Wallaby.

No contest. His fellow cops would have his face all over the internet – and the city – inside of an hour, and Bogo would probably penalize him for the cops' lost time while they got over their laughing fits. "I don't suppose I could go in there and get this cut before they see me?"

Taelia sighed. "I'll make sure they know you got this way doing a very, _very_ noble deed for some kids who needed some Christmas cheer only you could give them." Seeing that this didn't entirely sway him, she pressed it. "Please, Nick? I got you into this mess with the glue; at least let me fix it."

Nick sighed. He never could resist a vixen making the sad eyes, and to be fair it wasn't _all_ her fault. "Okay," he relented, his full body sagging a little. "Let's go."

Under the circumstances, Nick wasn't exactly in the mood for driving; not unless it involved a DeLamean with a Fox Capacitor. If there was one thing he'd learned from hanging around Judy, though – and Taelia too, in some different ways – it was that you had to learn to appreciate the good in a situation. The familiar, semi-mechanical process gave him something to do in the present, diverting some of his mind (at least) from imagining the reactions his new look would incur.

"Turn left here," Taelia advised. She was texting back and forth with her family to get everything squared away for Nick's arrival, hence her unavailability to drive.

 _It could be worse,_ thought Nick. _This could have happened while I was staying with Finnick._ The Fennec would have spent about an hour laughing at the sight of him like this, and then probably made the image his van's new body art.

Taelia's phone chimed, signaling a message. "'Moving the party to our place' – that would be Richard and Audrey's house," she interpreted for Nick. "'Less driving for you, and it's not a party till you get here anyway.'"

"Oh, that was nice of them," Nick replied.

Taelia clicked her tongue. She'd been hoping to see how her parents trimmed the tree.

"You okay?" asked Nick, glancing over at her.

She sighed and nodded. "Just… tired. Yesterday really wiped me out."

He nodded too in sympathy. "Yeah, I hear ya. How's your throat?"

Her throat still felt a little scratchy, but she'd had some hard candy on the way over and that had helped. "I'm okay. I was actually more worried about you, really. Everything got sprung on you at the last minute, and then the whole thing went…"

"Taelia, Taelia," he cut her off, raising a paw as if to hold back her words. "Relax, okay? I deal with way worse stuff than this as a cop. It's not like a program or a song you can go over time and time again until you get it perfect. You just kind of have to… you know, improvise sometimes. Things work out, though. Not always the way you want, but they work out."

She sighed inwardly, but smiled at his reassurance and pricked up her ears. _I guess if he can deal with what he has to, I can deal with a little chaos._

On a whim she decided to check her e-mails. There were the usual ads and news stories, a couple of Christmas e-cards, and… her eye fell on one about the party from Judy with an attachment.

 _I hope things didn't go too badly,_ she thought, opening the message. Her eyes scanned the text, and slowly they widened. Her mouth dropped slightly open in disbelief.

"Huh?"

Nick paused at a red light and turned to look at her. "What's up?"

She looked up at him. "I was worried that the kids at the party would be upset over my accident, but it turns out Michael – you remember, the mouse?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Looks like he got a rumor started that it was all a setup to show the value of First Aid."

Nick barked out a laugh. "Huh. Smart kid."

Taelia blushed a little, thinking that her crisis had been turned into a publicity stunt in the minds of that many kids. Still, if it saved them from freaking out that someone could have been badly hurt, she guessed she could live with that.

She looked up at the pressure of Nick's paw curling around hers. Winking once he'd caught her eye, he grinned. He didn't even have to say what he was thinking.

"Okay, okay," she relented. "You were right. I guess there was nothing to worry about after all."

A beep behind them informed them that the light had turned, and Nick resumed his driving.

"I guess this means our only worry now is getting your face back in order," Taelia added.

* * *

After Judy wrapped things up with Alex, she doubled back to her room to grab the dishes and almost tripped over Violet.

"Oh, Judy!" the young kit exclaimed. "I was just coming for you. There's a strange guy asking for you in the living room."

Judy's ears flicked. "A strange guy?" she repeated, flicking her ears in confusion – and a little unease. _Please tell me the Sisters Six didn't set me up on a blind date again._

Violet nodded, oblivious to her misgiving. "Yeah. Skinny, about your height, kind of a blotchy face?"

"Blotchy?" Judy echoed.

Violet stopped, remembering her manners. "Piebald," she amended. "You know, with weird spots and stuff? Seemed really nice – and kind of cute too."

Ignoring this last bit, Judy tried to think of who might fit that description, and somewhere deep in her memory a face came to mind. _But what would he be doing here?_ she thought.

"Thanks for telling me. I guess I'll stop there after I get these dishes to the kitchen."

The living room wasn't particularly crowded that day. Since a large party with everyone visiting all at once and bringing their dates, spouses, kids, etcetera would have been too chaotic, it was the norm for the Hopps clan to stretch out the Christmas season and cycle adult kids and their families through. So it was that there were only about three dozen rabbits in the room, mostly Judy's age or older. Surmising in passing that the youngsters were all out playing in the snow, Judy scanned the crowd for a piebald face.

She spotted him talking with her dad, who was looking half-tense and half-guilty. As she drew nearer, she caught something about "like that" before her dad turned his head towards her. The visitor, catching the movement, stopped talking and turned.

There was no mistaking him.

"Shamus Stampett," she said slowly. "Well, I'll be darned."

The buck turned to face her with an odd look on his face; part hope and part worry. "Judy!" he exclaimed, sticking out a paw. Then he hesitated and drew it back, but seeing her move hers out he took it and shook. "Good to see you again."

"Yeah, what's it been? Twelve years?"

"Fourteen, actually," he corrected nervously.

Judy skimmed through her memory trying to recall how she knew Shamus. When last they had met, she'd been in elementary school and he'd been in junior high. The only reason she recognized him at all after so much time had elapsed was just how outre his markings were. In addition to a few other spots on his face and arms, most of the left side of his face was covered with a rusty reddish blotch that made him look disfigured at first glance. Looks aside, though, he was a good guy.

"What are you doing here?" she asked "I mean, Violet said you came to see me, but… why?"

"It's, uh…" he faltered, avoiding eye contact. "It's a little complicated."

Judy got a familiar feeling in her stomach. _Oh boy,_ she thought without much enthusiasm. _Crush alert._ Vain doe that she wasn't and never had been, She knew she was attractive. Being a cop almost inevitably kept her in good shape, and besides that she was well known; practically a celebrity. It wasn't unusual for guys to take an interest in her, and the symptoms were pretty familiar. "Oh," she said slowly.

Shamus' paws flew up defensively. "No, no, this isn't one of those unconfessed crush things – although you _are_ looking good today, if I may say so."

Not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed, Judy nodded, "Well, thanks. You look, uh…" The honest truth was that he looked kind of scrawny; maybe even a bit emaciated. She was pretty sure she remembered him being fitter, or at least more filled out.

"I know." He brought a paw up to rub the back of his neck, glancing around with acute self-awareness. His eyes rested on Mr. Hopps for a moment before returning to Judy. "Look, can we talk somewhere alone? This is…"

"Complicated," she finished, considering. "Got it. Yeah, we can find a place to talk."

* * *

 **And that's it for another chapter. My schedule gets a little weird approaching Christmas, but I'm hoping to have a little more writing time and maybe get the finale done by Christmas Eve. I'd been hoping to also release a chapter of Something Stinks, but no promises on that. I am, however, in line to release another Balto fic – the first one since my back story of Aniu the White Wolf, "White Legend." This one, titled "Darkened Memories," should be just as good, so definitely watch for that.**

 **One thing that might have confused some of you is that I had Alex say, "Nobody here but us peppers." For those who missed the clue in Judy's reply, this is a nod to stuffed peppers – playing, of course, on Alex's congestion. I was going to go with turkeys, but figured peppers worked better for rabbits. Funnily enough, hot peppers are actually great for getting your nose un-stuffed.**

 **Some of you readers may recognize Shamus, who featured in the Something Stinks prequel Sing Me to Sleep although he won't be a major player in that story line for some time yet. Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps advised me a while back that keeping readers waiting too long on character developments was a bad idea. Personally I'm not for rushing, so in the next chapter you'll be seeing an unofficial version of him, designed to present his nature without dropping too many spoilers (one advantage of having multiple story lines).**

 **I deliberately avoided revealing his species in SMtS, especially since much of the point there was that he could be anyone anywhere. However, everyone seems to think he's a rabbit, and that works well enough for this story's purposes. So for now he's a rabbit (might make him a lynx later).**

 **By the way, the scissors Taelia described actually exist. I have a pair myself, and I really have used them to cut pennies. They're called Super Shears, made in the USA, and (at the risk of this sounding like a marketing gimmick) if you want some I can probably set you up. Just shoot me a PM.**

 **And now, let's see who can spot the Back to the Future Easter Egg (should be everyone who knows the movie).**

 **Answers from Past Chapters:**

 **Chapter Two:**

Taelia's remark comparing the snow to "a big, white sheet of paper to draw on" is a nod to the final _Calvin and Hobbes_ comic strip. Her following line, "There's magic everywhere" is a blending of one of Calvin's lines from that same comic and another line – which gave one of the treasuries its title – that "There's treasure everywhere." Congrats to Beecroft for spotting that, and while the snow masterpieces were not a direct reference (I had a thing for those long before I picked up the comic), I'll also give him points for seeing that connection.  
The _Sword Art Online_ reference was a little more obscure. The ring tone mentioned when Taelia gets pulled away from helping in the workshop, about wandering aimlessly down a path, is a nod to "Courage," the theme music used for the "Mother's Rosario" story arc.

 **Chapter Six:**

 _Stuart Little_ makes a cameo in this chapter as the mouse named Michael (after the actor who voiced Stuart, of course). His interest in meat/bugloaf and being adopted are obvious nods to the movie as well, and there's a nod to the bit in _Back to the Future_ where Marty (also played by Michael J. Fox) seeks leniency for accidentally igniting the living room rug. Nice job to Janyo for spotting the name and the rug. Incidentally, grasshopper mice are a real species, and they hunt insects, so Michael's love of bug loaf makes perfect sense.

Also, the name of the supervisor is a nod to singer Elvis Presley, or Elkvis Prongsley as I'm thinking he would have been called in Zootopia.

Also, to the Guest reviewer on Chapter 10: Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it, because I really liked writing it. :)


	13. Thirteen: Safe by a Hair

**Well, at long last I have the final chapter of this up - and on Christmas Eve, no less. My thanks to everyone for their devoted attention. Happy reading, and if you want more feel free to check out the other Christmas goodies - the latest update of _Something Stinks_ , and the debut of my Road Rovers fic, _Out of the Blue._ Merry Christmas!**

 **I also have some gift art from Elimmc (on my DA page, DragonTamer2000) and from DragonSnake9989. Feel free to check that out too. And now, on with the grand finale of Santa Clawed.**

 **Thor: "No one touches my hair."**

 **Stan: "Now don't you move. My hands aren't as steady as they used to be."**

 **Thor: "No, please. No. NOOOOOOO!"**

 **Thor (III): Ragnarok**

Fate, as they say, is a fickle mistress. One minute before Nick walked in the door at the home of Taelia's lateral relations, he had been expecting a fairly simple trim – probably not professional grade, but good enough – and then a nice, relaxing Christmas party.

Two minutes after, Taelia's niece Rose Fangaster was trying to talk him into a photoshoot… and this one wasn't as Santa Claws.

"Sweetheart," laughed Richard. It was helpful to have his daughter's antics to laugh at as an alibi for chuckling in Nick's presence. The tonic-grown beard did look pretty funny. "I'm sure Nick's had enough of photo shoots after yesterday."

"But we still have your costume," she protested, "and Uncle Nick's got the perfect face for it. Way better than you looked."

"Rose!" objected her mother.

Richard scrunched his face. "Tactless, yet rude," he observed.

Rose was instantly apologetic, tucking her paws behind her back. "Uh, what I mean is, you looked more like you'd make a good archer or something like that – like the Halloween before."

As Nick observed the back-and-forth, he felt Taelia hook an elbow around his arm. They had arrived before her parents, and since her brother had a pair of the same scissors, she was hoping to get Nick looking semi-normal before the party was fully assembled. This was not helping.

"Rose, Nick had a rough time of it yesterday. Right now I'm pretty sure he just wants to get back to his normal look and spend the day relaxing."

Rose considered. "Well then can you give Dad some of that fur tonic?"

Richard looked ill. Obviously, as sympathetic as he was of Nick's predicament, sporting an empathy beard wasn't how he wanted to show it. He decided it was time to get serious. "Rose, it's not nice to make fun of someone else's situation. Imagine if you showed up at a party looking like Nick does right now." Pausing to look up, he added, "No offense, Nick."

Nick lowered his eyelids to half-mast. "None taken."

Looking Nick over, Rose considered the matter anew. All in all, she would have looked a lot sillier showing up like that at a party then he would. All the same, her ears did drop down and her tail fell to the floor. "Sorry," she offered meekly.

Nick smiled. "It's fine. Gotta admit, I think I'd make a pretty handsome Viking."

The kit's ears shot up again. "Does that mean you'll do it?"

"Rose," her parents both scolded.

Raising his paws, Nick came to Rose's defense. "It's okay," he interceded. "I can accept an apology and move on. I'm a big fox. Besides, I must have posed in costume for a hundred kids yesterday. What's one more munchkin?"

Rose grimaced at being called that, and for a moment there was an irate retort on her tongue. Then, seeing the 'gotcha' look on Nick's face, she swallowed her pride. "Okay. You win this round."

As the kit ran off to find the costume, Nick and Taelia settled onto the couch while Richard followed his daughter and Audrey fetched a sheet for when Nick was ready for his trim.

"That was sweet of you, Nick," Taelia approved, slipping a paw around his shoulders.

He chuckled. "Yeah, well, if it makes the kid happy then who am I to say no?"

She winked. "Santa Claws?"

"Ha. Yeah, Santa Claws – and next a Viking. Maybe later on I'll be Captain Amareca."

Taelia rather un-subtly ran her gaze up and down his figure. "I could see you in tights," she teased.

He blinked in surprise. "What? Miss Nun has a superhero fetish?"

She slapped him on the arm. "It's not a fetish. I'm just saying."

Nick laughed. "Ah, well. She's a cute kit. Between the two of you you could probably talk me into a superhero costume." Sliding his own paw around her waist, he added cheerily, "Besides, anything to impress a girl, right?"

One eyebrow went up. "You'd better be talking about me and not Rose."

By way of an answer, Nick took her chin in his free paw and turned her face toward him, giving her a quick peck. "Always."

She blushed. "I hope you realize we're not going to just kiss on a whim any time at all," she pointed out.

"Oh, I know," he grinned. "Still fun when I can get it."

Neither of them had noticed that Mrs. Fangaster was coming back from the kitchen – or that, seeing the tender conversation, she had discreetly slipped out her phone.

' _See what your well-behaved daughter is up to? ;)'_ she texted her in-laws… and sent it off with a photo.

* * *

Nick was in full costume – complete with a surprisingly realistic sword – five minutes later. He was just in the middle of raising the sword over his head and goofily yelling "I have the powerrrrrr!" when Grandma and Grandpa Fangaster strode in. The large gift bags dropped from their paws as they took in the peculiar sight.

It was Audrey who noticed them first. "Oh, um… hi."

"Grandma! Grandpa!" cried Rose, running towards them.

Grandpa Fangaster, his fur flecked with gray like a light snowfall, paused to greet her and then returned to staring at Nick. "Well," he observed, "I wish someone had told me this was a costume party. I'd have come dressed as Santa Claws."

Nick groaned and slapped himself in the face. At least that was his intention… except that he forgot he still had the sword in his paw.

"Ow."

"You alright?" asked Richard, trying not to laugh. "Honey, help him out. I'll get the door."

"And I'll get the goodies!" cried Rose, grabbing a bag and dashing to the main room where the Christmas tree was.

"No peeking!" called Richard before turning to his parents and giving them each a hug. "Hi, Mom. Hi Dad. Nick was, uh… entertaining Rose a little."

Grandpa Fangaster laughed. "No need to apologize," he said, waving. "Taelia told us all about the party. So nice to know she's in good paws."

Nick raised an eyebrow at this. "Okay, that last part?"

The older fox chuckled. "Well, someone dropped us a hint that you two have been getting along pretty well lately."

Nick and Taelia stared at one another. "Taelia?" asked Nick. "Did you tell them-?"

"No."

Grandpa laughed and held up his phone. "Well, someone sent me an anonymous tip. I think I'll make it my new background."

Nick stared, first in worry and then in horror. Taelia spun toward her brother and sister-in-law, her face fairly aflame with embarrassment. The looks on their faces were all she needed to know.

"Audrey!"

* * *

Judy prided herself on being ready for anything, but that didn't include what Shamus told her once they were alone.

"After we parted ways, things really fell out," he explained. "My dad insisted I start getting ready to be a mechanic – which I didn't want, you know, but he wouldn't take no for an answer."

That much Judy understood. Shamus had a knack for machines, but his interest had always been much more geared to living things; how they bent, moved, and so on. She had once seen him spend half an hour just looking at all the ways a foot could bend, drawing sketches and writing notes all about it. "So what happened?" she asked.

"Well, I was working on a tractor one day, fuming at my dad for making me do it, and… I kind of had an accident. Most of me was fine, but my leg was another story."

She glanced down involuntarily, half expecting to discover that one of his legs was really a well-disguised prosthetic or something. "How bad was it?"

"I kept the whole leg, if that's what you mean," was his answer, "but it was pretty bad. The doc put me on the best painkillers he was confident prescribing, but they weren't doing it. So I convinced him to put me on something stronger, and then I got hit with the side effects. Out of the frying pan, into the fire; you know?"

He told it in a very calm, matter-of-fact tone, but she could see a reservoir of pain building up behind his eyes. It had to be taking some serious self-control for him not to break down, especially if he was even half as emotional as she remembered. He'd always been a very driven rabbit; passionate about pretty much everything he did.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I'd rather not get into the nitty-gritty," he admitted, "but you know how they say, 'the cure is worse than the disease'? Well, they got it right this time. I had to go in for all kinds of stuff. That's why I'm so skinny now, and I was sick and hurting all the time, and… to be honest, I actually tried to just end it."

 _End it._ Judy had half-expected those words, but they still struck her like an icicle to the heart. The buck in front of her – someone she had once known and cared about – had tried to kill himself. "I'm so sorry."

Through eyes now glistening with barely contained tears, he smiled at her. "Don't be," he said softly. "That's why I came to see you. You stopped me."

"Me?" asked Judy. She was positive she'd remember that.

"You," he nodded. "Not directly, but I remembered you. I remembered what a good friend you were, and I guess some part of you was still hanging around or something because even when I wanted to I couldn't quite shake the fact that I had you for a friend. The way you used to say, 'I don't know when to quit'… I remembered that, and… and here I am."

Now Judy was crying. "Shamus," she choked, reaching for his paw. He gave it willingly, reaching his other for a box of tissues and handing her one. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"You always were emotional," he said.

"Be quiet," she ordered, kicking him lightly. It took her a minute to regain her dignity. "Thanks."

He blinked in confusion. "You're thanking me?"

"Yes, you big dummy. I'm glad you told me that. It really means a lot."

"Oh." He didn't seem to know how to process this. "Well, you're welcome. I'm glad I could make your day."

She realized she was still holding onto his paw, and she awkwardly let go. "Are you okay now? I mean, with the sickness and everything."

He shrugged. "It's still ups and downs, but I'm doing better at the moment. That's one of the reasons I chose now to visit you; so I could give you some good news." Guessing what else she must be thinking, he added, "And I'm not going to kill myself. I've got a pretty good handle on it now."

Judy knew that some mammals thought that and then had a relapse, but it encouraged her to hear him speak so hopefully. "Well, that's good. Listen, if you ever-"

A faint buzzing sound reached her ears, droning down from overhead. She tipped her head back, gazing at the ceiling… and an object which hung between it and them… and something dangling between that object and them.

Straight over their heads hummed a drone; a drone equipped with a piece of a familiar sticky-berried plant.

"Oh, _seriously?!"_ she yelped, whipping her eyes toward the doorway. The high-speed blur would have been indecipherable to anyone except a Hopps.

"JORDY RICHARD HOPS, YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" she shouted, jumping up from her seat. "Sorry, Shamus. I'll be right back. JORDY, I'VE SEEN YOUR TAIL RUN OFF TOO MANY TIMES NOT TO KNOW IT!"

Shamus only half-heard the apology, busy as he was watching the toy buzz across the room to a crash landing. _Good grief._

* * *

There was surprise all around when Grandpa Fangaster volunteered to fix up Nick's beard. Rather, he staunchly insisted on the matter, overriding Taelia's protests of having practice styling fur.

"I've worked on singers before concerts," she pointed out.

Grandpa shook his head. "Sweetheart, you still have to work for a living and you drive yourself crazy volunteering for odd jobs in your time off. Relax for a change. I've been going stir-crazy in retirement. This'll give me something new to try my old paws at."

Nick cringed inside. _Oh great. No experience._

"Let me guess," he joked. "Hold still; your paws aren't as steady as they used to be?"

The old fox frowned as if insulted. "I'll have you know I've taken up woodcarving in my spare time. My paws are as steady as that fireplace over there." He pointed to the field stone masonry centering one wall of the den.

 _Really,_ thought Nick, wondering if the old reynard knew that the fireplace needed work. He knew because earlier Richard had chased Rose away from it for fiddling with one of the rocks. The Fangasters were nothing if not a line of do-it-yourselfers.

"If you're sure," Taelia ventured, making one last effort despite the fact that she really did need some downtime.

"I'm sure," her father insisted. "If it makes you feel better, I'll leave it a bit long so he can get it cleaned up afterward."

The compromise reached, Nick allowed himself to be ushered into another room while the rest of the family sat down to talk. Any thoughts of his shearing being made a spectacle were doused by Grandma Fangaster asserting that fewer distractions would be best.

"So," Nick ventured as Grandpa fastened a sheet around his neck, "I assume you wanted to talk about Taelia.

"Oh yes," came the reply. "Hold still. It's been a while since I used a safety pin."

Nick braced himself for a prick at the back of his neck, but managed to get wrapped up without any punctures.

"You'll want to keep your jaw still while I work," said old Fangaster with a smirk, "so try not to talk too much."

 _Ah-ha,_ thought Nick. This guy was an opportunist after his own heart.

"I'll be direct and to the point," said the elder as he went to work. Nick could hear the scissors snipping away, and was rather impressed at how easily they cut through the fur.

 _I just hope he doesn't get distracted with talking,_ he thought. Opening his lips just a little, he mumbled a defense. "Rrf thss izzabut thhh kssss…"

"Woop! Hold still there; I'll need to fix that."

Nick stopped.

"I know you and Taelia are both grown up and can make your own decisions. I respect that, but however old she gets she's still my daughter. I won't have you or any other fox messing around with her."

 _Wow,_ thought Nick. In their past encounters he hadn't taken Taelia's old dog to be so… well, controlling. "Uhh wudd nrrvrrr…" he tried again.

" _Careful,"_ sing-songed the old fox. "I know you two will do things your way. I can't stop that. I just want to be sure we have an understanding, that's all."

' _An understanding.'_ Nick had had plenty of bad experiences where those words were involved – especially when mammals he'd thought were nice and placable started holding sharp tools near his neck. He kept his cool, but it was some work doing it.

"You two have been dating for about… oh, a year and a half or so? About as long as I dated my missus before we started looking at rings, anyway."

Nick's nose was starting to sweat.

"The point is, she knows how to behave herself, and I assume she's made her boundaries clear enough to you."

Allowing his mind to wander a bit, Nick thought back over the previous evening's talk in the cab; about what Taelia had gone through in the past and how some guy had tried to… He almost shook his head.

 _I'd never do that to Taelia,_ he thought, not sure if he was trying to make it a promise to himself or to the fox in front of him. If anything, knowing that someone tried to do that redoubled his concerns for her. If someone tried to mess with her in any way, he'd be the first to lay them out on the floor.

"At that point, the monologue took a new turn. "Now you don't have to tell me you know that. If you've been dating her this long then I can only assume you're in agreement with her standards and have every intention of meeting her expectations." Here the old fox paused his trimming to look Nick in the eyes. "I do have that right, don't I?"

Nick thought about it. "Are you right?" he asked, daring to speak while the scissors were still. "Yes; yes you are."

Grandpa Fangaster smiled then, clapping him warmly on the shoulder. "Good. Then all I can say is to treat her well. Do that, and whatever you two plan is alright with me."

It was a little stunning to have the one-sided conversation brought to such an encouraging stop. Nick had to wonder, if the places were switched, whether he'd have the heart to hand off someone he'd brought up since birth that way.

"Thanks," was all he said.

"You're welcome. Now if you don't mind, I'd better finish this cutting so we can get you back to Taelia. She hates to be kept waiting."

"We're not done?" asked Nick, frowning slightly. The conversation – if you could call it that – had made it seem like the trim went on for an hour.

"Ha! Not by a long shot," chuckled the elder, picking up a hand mirror borrowed from Audrey for the job.

Nick winced at the sight of his face. "Uh, yeah, let's finish this up – before Audrey takes any more pictures."

As the work continued, Nick felt a good deal more relaxed.

"By the way, a little advice: try scratching her ears a little the next time you kiss her. She likes a good ear-rub."

"Huh?"

"Careful! Almost got your lip!"

* * *

Nick groaned inside. _This,_ he thought, _could be a really long barber appointment._

Back at the Hopps house, Shamus was still burning up with embarrassment when Judy came back dusting her paws. "Really sorry about that," she said with a shrug. "Little brothers."

Her calm demeanor helped ease the sting of the stunt – a little. "Thanks. I can relate – although I only had three."

A sad, weary look crossed Judy's face. He suspected she must envy him sometimes.

"Really sorry," she repeated. "That's the drawback of an open-door-when-guys-are-visiting family policy."

Shamus tried not to show how much that stung. Judy didn't know, but there was kind of a reason he hadn't seen her in so long. "Well, at least you have a family that looks out for you," he offered, trying to sound philosophical. "Lots of mammals can't say that, even this time of year."

She sat down across from him and looked him in the eyes, wondering if she should be frank with him about the idea of them as a couple. _No,_ she decided. _He's been through enough, and I don't want this to get awkward for him._

"Shamus," she said in a quiet tone, "I'm glad I was able to help; _really_ glad. I'm just sorry I wasn't actually there."

He bit his lip and shrugged, trying to look as casual as one could about having nearly taken a five story dive. "You didn't know," he pointed out, "and it's not like you can be everywhere."

"Stop saying that like it makes it unimportant," she scolded. Then she held out her paw. "Can I see your phone a minute?"

A look of confusion scrunched his features as he fished out the device. "Okay, but why?"

"Because I want to make sure you'll have my number," she said, tapping at the buttons. "And the next time you need someone to talk to or… or even just to go have coffee or something, you call me. Alright?"

He stared at her, then smiled. "You never could do nothing, could you?" he asked.

She smiled back. "Nnnope," was her bright reply as she plopped the phone back into his paw.

Silence reigned for a little while as she watched him gaze at his phone and the new contact she had just put in. "It needs a picture," he observed, holding it up. "You mind?"

A slight flush tried to rise into her face, but she pushed it back down. "Okay."

"Say, 'I don't know when to quit.'"

She laughed, then mustered herself and put on a bold face. "I _don't_ know when to quit," she affirmed, smiling confidently.

He snapped a picture and attached it to her contact, smiling with a nostalgic air. _Some things never change,_ he thought.

Judy relaxed into her usual smile – one which, Shamus reflected, he wished he had as her picture instead. Asking for another picture, though, would be anticlimactic. Better to just fix her like this in his memory.

"So, since you're here," she invited, "why not stick around? Lunch should be soon, and there's plenty of Mom's cider in the dining room."

"Oh, I wish I could," he said with complete honesty, rubbing the back of his head shyly. "But I've got some things to take care of, and I can't really stick around."

Her posture dropped slightly, and her ears sagged. "Oh, sorry to hear that."

He smiled and held up his phone. "I've got your number," he reminded her. "We'll meet up some time; catch up on life."

She nodded. "Sounds good."

He started to leave, but stopped and turned again when something else occurred to him. "What'd you do with Jordy, anyway?"

When Judy told him, his eyes swelled in shock. "You scare me sometimes, Judy," he told her. "You really do."

* * *

Somewhere in the house, Jordy Hopps clung to a closet doorknob with all his might as someone outside tried to open it.

"Jordy, this is Judy!" the someone yelled. "You open this door or the tree outside's going to have a new ornament!"

Jordy held on for dear life. "Mom! Dad! Help!"

Outside the door, one of the team known as the Sisters Six slapped paws with another as they took turns shaking the door, alternating with quick games of Three Card Meownty. They didn't really plan on forcing it, of course. All Judy had paid them to do was keep Jordy fighting to keep it shut – and to hold something _else,_ too.

"How long do you think he'll last?" one whispered to another.

The latter looked at her watch and shrugged. "The way _he_ chugs soda? Five bucks says he'll surrender in the next ten minutes."

"I'll see that," another whispered, "and raise you five that he surrenders in eight minutes."

A third shook her head. "Fifteen says the soda wins." As she spoke she picked up a card and grinned. "Ace."

The loser of the round stood up with a sigh and went to take her turn shaking the door. "JOOOORRRRDYYYY!"

 **And thus we reach the finale of this story. I hope you all enjoyed it. It was a bit of a challenge arranging the order and presentation of events just right for these last two chapters, but happily enough I like a good challenge. One challenge which hit me out of the blue was finding a good Zootopia name for Three Card Monty, a fairly simple game where someone shuffles three cards around and someone else tries to keep track of a particular card – kind of like the old pea-under-a-cup game. At first I went with Three Card Mountain Goat and then Three Card Mounty (playing off of the first and the slang "mounty" for an Old West lawman). Neither of those struck me as sounding right, so in the end I went with Meownty.**

 **I found the reception to the idea of Shamus and Judy as a couple interesting, especially since it seemed like both views of the matter (loves her, loves her not) missed one or two details in** _ **Sing Me to Sleep.**_ **In a way I'm glad, because romantic potential was never the main point of that story and the combination of romance and suicide is, I think, so heavily misused. Besides that, as much as Christmas is a love story at its core, I wanted to look more in this story – as in SmtS – at Judy being the promise of hope and new life for Shamus (which, if you think of it, is also very close to the heart of Christmas). I will say that I intend to flip all expectations after he really comes into play in** _ **No Stone Unturned.**_ **For now, though, we've established that in these stories Shamus is not romantically involved with Judy… yet. Will that continue or change? Will he even appear in later** _ **Fox Dens and Rabbit Trails,**_ **or will his future remain an eternal question mark?**

 **Sorry. I'm not answering yet. :P I will say, though, that since you all have so enjoyed Nick's interaction with Taelia in these stories (my thanks to the Guest reviewer on the previous chapter), I'll be making** _ **them**_ **the special focus of a future installment yet to be titled. The premise is hinted at somewhere in this fic (a random idea at the time I put it in), and I'll give a special mention to anyone who correctly guesses what they'll be doing. Here's a hint: it's not a wedding just yet. Sorry! ;)**

 **Easter Egg Answers:**

 **Chapter Eleven:**

Pretty much everyone caught the references in this one – including a few I actually didn't intend to make into references (thanks for noting those, BeecroftA). The intentional ones for _Calvin and Hobbes_ mainly centered on the mole: his appearance (wacky hair and a red shirt with black lines), his wish list noted by BeecroftA (yes, Calvin did write to Santa for an atom bomb and a grenade launcher, among a few hundred other dangerous toys), and his class voting him "most likely to be on the news." His accent was also a nod to the Redwall books, in which virtually all moles have a characteristic mode of speech which I did my best to duplicate here. Kudos to Justin Durfee for catching that one. To everyone else: if you're not familiar with Redwall, you should read some of the books. Just be warned, you may never write an un-accented mole again.

The raccoon supplied the _Home Alone_ references; his talk with Judy is pretty much a duplicate of a scene from the first movie, with one or two touches of the second. His surname – which I could actually see working for a raccoon – draws on a quip his brother Buzz made in the second movie (and probably the first, but I don't remember that one so well), combining with his first name as noted by BeecroftA.

The Holes references are actually centered mostly on the fur tonic. Peaches and onions – two foods mentioned in the book – are cited describing the scent of it (my girlfriend Byrony caught that, though not in a public comment). The promised abundance and quality of hair/fur echoes a character's (Sam's) claims of the powers of onion paste, and the mascot on the bottle is a blending of Sam's lady fair (Kate Barlow) and his donkey (Mary Lou) – which, come to think of it, would be pretty insulting if this wasn't Zootopia. The line about "Tell him I said I was sorry" also echoes Holes, as noted by Beecroft, though that was unintentional on my part.

On a side note, the note about Taelia guessing that Nick was a snorer hearkens back to a bit in _Something Stinks_ when she was star-struck over him. When her more rational, jaded side argued back that no guy was perfect, she shrugged it off with the thought that he probably snored or something.

 **Chapter Twelve:**

BeecroftA called this one, though I dare say it was obvious enough. After the hectic events, Nick wished for the time machine from _Back_ (or should I say _Baaaaaack_?) _to the Future_ : A Delamian (DeLorean) with a Fox (Flux) Capacitor.

 **No Easter Eggs for this chapter (unless you count the literal bathroom gag about a younger sibling drinking too much soda). Instead, I decided to try something a little different. Since Stan Lee sadly departed this year, I thought it would be appropriate to memorialize him in some way. So while I haven't settled on a voice for Taelia's dad (or a name, come to think of it), consider his voice for this story chosen. RIP, Stan Lee. The world lost a genius this year.**

 **Merry Christmas!**


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